Barking at the Moon

North Korea put inoperative junk in the skies above us and started celebrating like there is no tomorrow:
Yoon Dong Hyun, vice director of the Ministry of the People's Armed Forces, struck a defiant note in a speech at the celebrations, vowing the country would continue developing its aerospace technology in the face of international sanctions. Efforts by other countries to block such an advance were "nothing more than a puppy barking towards the moon," he said.
Sanctions will have no effect. Perhaps someone could figure out a way to stop them from launching dangerous pieces of trash into space? Perhaps someone could deliver a fairly serious warning to stop this nonsense? I suspect the answer is, no. We will tolerate this infantile behavior and go back to ignoring the whims of this regime.

Your Kids Belong in the Car, Not on the Roof

This is a story about parents who have lost control of their common sense:
LEAGUE CITY, TX (KTRK) -- One League City neighborhood attracts people from all over with its homes decorated for the holidays.
But Tuesday night, as Jeremy Barron was headed home, he saw something he had never seen before.
"As I passed by them I saw the kids sitting on the roof and it just blew my mind,"said Barron.
Barron says he saw as many as three children riding on top of a minivan as it cruised through the neighborhood. He couldn't tell if they were restrained in any way. There were two adults inside. Barron has no idea who they are.
Now, this was Texas, not Florida. Based on my super scientific application of incompetent Photoshop, there was an older kid holding on to a smaller kid. They may have been tied to the luggage rack.

Bad parenting. Bad, bad, bad. And worse Photoshopping, too. Well, at least I don't use Photoshop on the kids.

Pat Robertson is Still Saying Weird Things

Did a day go by?


Did Pat Robertson get on television again by appearing on the network that he owns?


Did he say something designed to make liberals crazy that someone wrote for him because they are part of a massive conservative movement to troll everyone through the method of sticking nutty things in an old man's mouth because he can make them plausible enough to scare old ladies into sending him checks?


It's March 2, 2015. Korean War hero Pat Robertson is still bugfuck crazy and on the television network that he owns.

Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

There really is a website called "Conservatives For Palin" and they really, really do have a banner with a misspelled word on it.

And I realize that this is absurd and could be entirely wrong, but the phrase stamped on the old Scottish coins was "Nemo Me Impune Lacessit," which is roughly translated as "no one cuts me with inpunity."

The Palin site spells the word as "lacesset." This is an obscure spelling on the Internet. It is vastly more common to spell it "lacessit."

What? I'm bored.

The No Accountability League

The New England Patriots are a team of cheating liars who lie. So they're just like any other NFL franchise that wins. They'll do anything to make good things happen. They're terrible at getting away with it.

So, when it comes to Ballghazigate or whatever they're calling it, please. Nothing will happen and nothing will be done that will have any significant impact on anything that matters:
The season that began with the NFL not knowing what to do about Ray Rice will end with one Super Bowl participant being suspected, not for the first time, of cheating. Commissioner Roger Goodell likes to say his job is to Protect The Shield, meaning the longstanding NFL logo. We’re about to see if he means it.
You wouldn’t think the New England Patriots, winners of three Super Bowls this millennium, could be considered a rogue outfit, but they are. In 2007, they were found to have filmed other teams’ defensive signals in violation of the rules and their coach was fined $500,000, and it’s widely accepted in league circles that the Patriots and Bill Belichick aren’t above anything in their pursuit of victory.
Bob Kravitz of WHTR reported after Sunday’s AFC championship that the Indianapolis Colts believed the footballs had been underinflated. (The suspicion took wings after D’Qwell Jackson intercepted a pass thrown by Tom Brady, who has said he prefers underinflated footballs.) Late Tuesday, ESPN’s Chris Mortensenreported that the NFL has found that 11 of the 12 footballs used in open play were inflated below league specifications — this after the balls were inspected by the officiating crew barely two hours before kickoff.
Now, they could tell the Patriots that next season is completely off limits and that they are banned and that the NFL will reinstate them in a year, but that's not happening, either.

Forget the fans, by the way. The gamblers must be furious. You can destroy the integrity of the game, but don't you dare fuck with the spread.

The Good Doctor is Being a Ridiculous Fool

“Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. And it is, in a way, it is slavery,” Carson said.
Carson spoke at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C. on Friday. He offers this explanation of why he thinks Obamacare is the worst thing in the U.S. since slavery.
“It is making all of us subservient to the government,” he said. “And it was never about health care, it was about control.”
Really? Is that what the Affordable Care Act was about?

It was about controlling costs, and it was actually a Republican idea, passed by Congress, signed into law, and upheld by the Supreme Court.

Dr. Ben Carson is one of those individuals who had a very distinguished career doing something really difficult and ended up not knowing anything about history or the humanities. He is proof that people without context often make statements that are bullshit, through and through, because of their inherent ignorance.

Stupidity Has a Favorite Beverage

I couldn't make this up if I wanted to:
Many people who end their Friday or Saturday nights in a hospital emergency room have been drinking alcohol. In fact, public health experts estimate that about one-third of all injury-related ER visits involved alcohol consumption. 
But what, exactly, are people drinking? What types of alcohol and even what brands? Is there a direct link between advertising and marketing and later injury? 
Until now, those questions have been unanswerable, frustrating alcohol epidemiology researchers. But if results of a pilot study conducted by researchers from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health hold up, there may soon be a way to connect the dots.
When the Hopkins researchers surveyed ER patients who’d been drinking, they found that Budweiser was the number one brand consumed, followed Steel Reserve Malt Liquor, Colt 45 malt liquor, Bud Ice (another malt liquor), Bud Light, and a discount-priced vodka called Barton’s.
They say that 15% of the "Emergency Room" market consists of people who drink Budweiser. How that breaks down regionally is another guess. Budweiser's advertising campaign looks a little too highbrow to be the sole source of blame.

Alcohol and stupid things seem to always go together. You don't have to be drunk to set off a pipe bomb made out of things bought right there on the state line but it sure helps when you end up driving forty minutes to the nearest emergency room where they ain't all "judgmental" and whatever.