Elections

This is How to Tell the World You Are a Jackass

Write a card like this and send it to the Democratic National Committee, and you can claim jackass status for life.

First of all, these people were not really Democrats. They were independents or people that do not usually vote. How do we know this? Many of them never bothered to vote! If they had actually voted for Bernie Sanders, he probably would have won.

Second, the DNC does not care about your Goodbye Cruel World statements. They have hundreds of other races that have to be won against the Republican Party. If you don't care about working people, women's reproductive rights, veterans, the disabled, LGBTs, and minorities, you weren't going to vote for the Democratic candidate in the first place. Everyone who is an adult is already on board.

Third, this is not how elections and democracy actually works. In our system, you choose one of the two main parties and vote accordingly. Any other use of your vote is a waste because this is the system we use--a two party representative democracy gives you a chance to participate, and if you throw that chance away, that's on you.

We have to stop worrying about these people and their feelings. If they're not on board, they're never going to support Hillary or do the right thing. They will act like upset customers and take their votes elsewhere. Let them. They are irrelevant and they know it.

Hillary Wins Washington State Primary

I don't have much to add here, other than noting that defenders of Bernie Sanders were quick to point out that his caucus win in Washington State meant that he got 610,000 "votes" because of that win. Through the magic of questionable math, they asserted that, because he received the support of about 170,000 caucus goers, it meant his vote total would have been much higher.

Well, bullshit. Hillary won the Washington State primary.

That sound you here is the disappearance of any sort of reason why people should think that Sanders can win this or claim he's been robbed. Clearly, the people who support him have a loud voice but do not have the numbers to back it up.

Math With Bernie Bots

You may see this kind of nonsense cropping up in your day to day activities:

Hillary does NOT have three million more votes than Bernie. Her count does not give ANY credit of votes to those 10 states Bernie won by caucus. Take, for example, Washington, with an active voter registration of 3,973,623. 56% voted Democratic in the last election. That's 2,225,229 Democrats. Assuming what would have been a 38% turnout for the primary, that's 845,587 voters. Sanders won 72,2% in Washington, giving an equivalent vote count of 610,514 votes for Bernie and 235,073 for Clinton. Counting all the caucus wins for Bernie that gives him a vote count equal to or greater than Clinton's.

This is demonstrably false when you look at what actually happened:

"Despite predictions that the caucus turnout would rival that of the record-breaking 2008 election, Washington's numbers were exactly what people were expecting. Officials were expecting over 200,000 votes, and Washington Democrats communications director Jamal Raad tells Bustle that he estimates more than 230,000 Democrats turned out to caucus, "nearly matching the record of 246,000 set in 2008."

So, here you have a Sanders supporter correctly pointing out that Sanders won in Washington State. Hooray for him. But notice how they shift the methodology to make up for the three million votes cast in Hillary's favor over Bernie. They take population, then they take ALL Democrats registered, and choose a number--in this case, 38%. That means, in Bernie Bot Math, 230,000 Democrats showed up to caucus, about 70% expressed a preference for Bernie, and that means he got 610,000 "votes."

In other words, the roughly 170,000 people who showed up or "voted" for Sanders in the context of the caucus equals a "vote" total of 610,000. By this methodology, every single registered Democrat in every single state can be apportioned thusly for each of the candidates. I'm not even going to bother pointing out that if we used this methodology in New York State, Hillary would have tens of millions of more votes than Bernie.

I mean, how do you even argue with these people anymore?

This is Not the Last You Will Hear of Him

I can't wait to see how all of these scores will be settled:

Corey Lewandowski, Donald Trump’s campaign manager and notorious arm-grabber, has been demoted to a body man and a scheduler, according to a CBS News report. Paul Manafort, who was hired last week, will now run the GOP presidential frontrunner’s campaign in his stead. The number of staffers that report directly to Lewandowski, known for a history of yelling at employees and making demeaning comments to women, has been reduced considerably. The campaign’s national field director, Stuart Jolly, also resigned Monday.

Whoever "moved" Lewandowski out of his role and into his new one will be destroyed before the new moon if not sooner. This man operates as if the world is his personal toilet. He does not care what happens to the toilet because he's renting the house and the landlord is an asshole. He is a media-savvy Millennial and he knows how to dig the holes where the bodies will be buried.

Trump could not fire this man; that would be too dangerous. He has to be eased into something else and then handled carefully for the next twenty years. Lewandowski is something so toxic that he is beyond unemployable. He is someone you should never, ever come into contact with or form a business relationship with because he is a force unto himself. He will consume everything before him just as would a cloud of locusts.

Why?


You know, if I were going to start asking questions at presidential debates, I'd start with a good one: why the hell are we still in Afghanistan?
The U.S. is planning to send hundreds of additional troops to Afghanistan to help government forces battle Taliban militants, marking the largest deployment of American troops outside major bases in the country since the end of the NATO combat mission in 2014, a military spokesman told The New York Times. The military said the troops won’t see active combat and instead will focus on protecting special-operations forces in Helmand province and providing extra support and training for the Afghan army, said Col. Michael T. Lawhorn, a spokesman for the U.S. military in Afghanistan. Lawhorn did not provide the number of troops or the unit involved. A senior military official told the Times the unit being sent, the Second Battalion, 87th Infantry, was slightly smaller than the usual battalion size of 700 or 800.
It's well past the time to bring the troops home. Afghanistan is a failure. America needs to own that failure and learn from our mistakes. No more troops should be deployed, period.

America Wants Nothing to do With Libertarians


Senator Rand Paul has been chased out of the race for the presidency:
Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) announced Wednesday that he is suspending his presidential campaign, bringing an end to a bid that began with aspirations of expanding the libertarian base that his father, Ron Paul, built into a powerful national coalition.
"It's been an incredible honor to run a principled campaign for the White House," Paul said in a statement. "Today, I will end where I began, ready and willing to fight for the cause of Liberty."
The low-key senator, as apt to quote a philosopher as to quote Pink Floyd, struggled in a year dominated by hard-line outsiders such as Sen. Ted Cruz (Tex.) and businessman Donald Trump. In a call with reporters, his campaign strategists bemoaned that the mogul had sucked the "oxygen" out of the race, and admitted hat his non-interventionist views on foreign policy were not embraced by Republicans as terrorism and unrest raged abroad.
Here's a guy who would make a great vice-president if he wasn't a libertarian. And, really, what does he have to offer? He's another short-term United States Senator who doesn't like doing his job enough to actually show up. He was running for president because why not? America pretends to believe in libertarianism right up until the moment when it is time to vote. Then, they vote for someone else.

Rand Paul was vice president material the moment he won his Senate seat. He has that weird charisma that will make it look like he's able to help the ticket. He energizes a shrinking pool of weirdos who would gladly vote for him.

And really, "shrinking pool of weirdos" would apply to half the Republican Party right now, wouldn't it?

Until We Meet Again


So much for the comeback of America's hypocrite:
Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and his wife are ending their two-decade marriage. 
Spitzer and his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, issued a statement late Tuesday announcing the split. 
"We regret that our marital relationship has come to an end," the statement reads. 
The couple then said they will not address the subject further.
The subject won't come up again until Eliot Spitzer decides that he deserves the power being denied to him and that he should run for political office. He is addicted to the power and respectability that negates his inability to control his libido. They love this stuff in New York until they feel that someone is just not worth the time or effort. Spitzer doesn't strike the kind of fear that he used to. Without that juice, he's just another washed up old man who keeps trying to wear a hole in his pants.

The Losers Are Supposed to Go Away


There you have it. The losers have given us their opinion. The people who couldn't defeat a sitting President who had a tanked economy and this supposedly failed law called Obamacare around his neck have spoken up about how they would have been so much better for the country.

When Mitt Romney runs in 2016, tell me that it isn't about a craven lust for power. Tell me it isn't about cashing in for their superwealthy friends. Tell me it isn't about an ego so overgrown that it eclipses everything around it.

Can't wait for Romney in '16.