Culture

Real Nazis Are Mad That Everyone Likes to Kill Nazis

Cool story, bro:

Welcome to 2017, when you can track the steady, civilization-sinking-into-the-mud decline of American politics by the number of people angrily shouting, “Hey, what gives?!” about a video game where you take back America from actual, genocidal Nazis. That’s the reaction that’s met the trailer for Bethesda’s latest shooter, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus today, with YouTube comments and 4chan posts filling up with people protesting the game for its “anti-white” politics, which involve such offenses as suggesting that the KKK and Nazis might have gotten along—given their shared mutual interests—and having a black character call the hero “white boy.”

Because this is the internet—a melting pot of ideas, irony, and creative expression that now seems increasingly like a mistake—the comments on the trailer have now descended into a mix of “Hey, get a look at these comments,” people calling each other snowflakes, and actual vitriol and right-wing memes. A number of people have logged on to suggest, for instance, that the Nazi-controlled America—full of happy, cheering white people and absolutely no minorities—shown in the trailer seems like a pretty nice place to live, while others are angry that Nazi-slaughtering protagonist B.J. Blazkowicz teams up with communists in his efforts to start a new American revolution. Many are decrying the game’s designers for “politicizing” Nazi murder or trying to push a particular political viewpoint, an argument that falls a little flat when applied to a series that once asked players to bust out of a literal Nazi labor camp in a robotic golem powered by Jewish science magic.

In the age of Trump, creating and marketing a video game that lets you run around in America and kill Nazis is just the marketplace talking to the consumer. In the words of the immortal Jello Biafra, Nazi Punks Fuck Off.

The Reasonable Language of the War on Women

If it's Wednesday, someone thinking about running for the Republican nomination for president just said something dumb:

Potential 2016 Republican presidential candidate and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) said in an interview on Friday that mandatory ultrasounds for women hoping to get an abortion was "just a cool thing."

During the interview with conservative radio host Dana Loesch, Walker defended a bill he’d signed in 2013 that required women get the ultrasounds.

“The thing about that, the media tried to make that sound like that was a crazy idea,” Walker said. “Most people I talk to, whether they’re pro-life or not, I find people all the time who’ll get out their iPhone and show me a picture of their grandkids’ ultrasound and how excited they are, so that’s a lovely thing. I think about my sons who are 19 and 20, and we still have their first ultrasounds. It’s just a cool thing out there.”

Walker sounds so reasonable and that's how you know when someone wants to take rights away from women. It's as if he's living in a state divorced from reality.  It's as if he doesn't have a single competent adviser who can help him steer clear of giving away too much when it comes to taking away a woman's right to choose. When he defends the creation of a law that intrudes on the liberty of others and forces doctors to perform an unnecessary and invasive test procedure, he doesn't seem to understand that he's violating every tenet of conservatism:

“We just knew if we signed that law, if we provided the information, that more people if they saw that unborn child would make a decision to protect and keep the life of that unborn child,” Walker said.

That's the thing with white male conservative men--your liberty is meaningless. Your liberty--your legal right to get an abortion--means nothing to them. They will invade your space and force doctors to perform an unnecessary test in order to maintain their dominance. They want to tell people what to do with their bodies, and all you can do is note that they keep winning elections and they pay no political price for such things.

It would be easy to mock Scott Walker but, really, you have to question the wisdom of the Wisconsin voting public. They elected this man twice (three times if you count the recall) and they don't seem to mind having their liberty used as a doormat.

Do the voters hate the idea of giving women the right to choose what to do with their bodies? Plenty of them seem to love it when a conservative goes against conservative values just to confiscate liberty and throw it away.

We're All Eleventh Cousins With Somebody

Jane Austen
This is a little ridiculous:
Jane Austen wrote the ultimate fairy tales, and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge is living one herself. But that's not all these two women have in common. 
The famed romance author (1775-1817) and the newly-minted royal, 29, have family ties, according to findings from Ancestry.com
The ladies are eleventh cousins, six times removed, according to the site, and they are linked through Henry Percy, the second Earl of Northumberland, who was born in 1392. 

We all have family ties with royalty or the historically famous or both. I don't think this is newsworthy at all.

The very nature of modern life dictates that we all come from common ancestors and a bloodline that traces back to someone notable in history, and this is true for all of the cultures of the Earth as well. This is not a white European fact; it's true for people from all over. The fact that they had to go back to 1392 to find a common ancestor is enough for a good laugh. And I don't know what's funnier--going back 619 years or expecting useful information out of People magazine.
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