Arts

In a World of Horrors, Satire is Dead

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The reason why people didn't get it is because they are being traumatized every day of their lives:

This New Year’s Day, Amazon tapped Saturday Night Live alums Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon to host its live coverage of the annual Rose Parade as fictional local news anchors Cord Hosenbeck and Tish Cattigan from Pasadena, California. As least some viewers were not amused. 

A look through the nearly 1,400 one-star reviews of the streaming special, produced by Funny or Die, reveal some seriously confused customers who somehow had no idea they were watching a comedy show. 

“I have watched the Rose Parade for over 30 years. I'm so frustrated that the hosts have absolutely no respect for the parade or the entrants,” a woman named Beth wrote. “They seem to be more interested in doing bits than talking about the bands/floats. I would have enjoyed the broadcast so much better without hosts. I'm EXTREMELY disappointed.”

“Way to go, Amazon ... totally RUINING the Rose Parade with 2 inane idiots who thought the event was ALL ABOUT THEM!!” Sue screamed. “(Do you really think fear of horses and depression are fitting parade commentary?!!) First, we muted. Then we missed several bands and floats while trying desperately to find a decent live-stream. Finally landed with ultra-professional KTLA. You might review them to learn how it's done!!!”

And then there was this one from John: “Fantastic camera work, but someone replace the two morons hosting this!!!!!!” 

There are hundreds more in the same vein, though the average has risen to three stars thanks to an even larger number of five-star reviews from those who understood that the commentary was supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable.

I watched the parade with the normal commentary, and I can get why people were thrown off. The Rose Parade is an anachronism. Nobody works with their hands anymore. No one has patience. And to actually create something that, in a matter of hours, will fall apart after turning brown for the sole purpose of entertaining others is so 20th Century. It takes three hours and covers five miles. America can't handle those dimensions anymore. Next year's Rose Parade will be twenty minutes and cover three blocks.


Tom Hardy is the New Mad Max

I will always have a special place in my heart for the second Mad Max film, The Road Warrior. I think it was the best of the original trilogy and stands apart as one of the greatest dystopian films ever made.

Having said that, it would be foolish not to keep Tom Hardy in mind as the "new" Mad Max and it wouldn't be out of the question to make a new version of that original classic:

It's pretty much undeniable that the gritty, epic Mad Max is a masterpiece, certainly in part because of Tom Hardy's incredible acting. Now, it looks as though there will be Mad Max sequels coming, and Hardy says he'd be down.
When TheWrap asked Hardy about whether Mad Max sequels would be happening, he replied, "Yeah I believe so! I don't know when that starts, but I believe that's in the books. There's a couple of those floating around. I'm waiting for the call to come. It was so good, man."

I thought there were excellent characters in The Road Warrior, and I think it could be expanded for a modern re-telling.  That's not to say that a completely new and updated original movie wouldn't be welcome, either. But if you were going to remake something, you could do a lot worse.

The Luckiest Kid in the World

Whoops!

A Taiwanese boy on Sunday punched a hole in an extremely valuable Paolo Porpora painting at a Taipei exhibition after apparently tripping and trying to catch his balance on the artwork, according to the surveillance tape provided by the organizers on Monday.

The 12-year-old boy may have gotten lucky, however, because the organizers will not ask the boy's family to pay for the cost of restoring the damaged painting, displayed as part of "The Face of Leonardo, Images of a Genius" exhibition at Huashan 1914 Creative Park.

According to Sun Chi-hsuan (孫紀璿), the head of exhibition co-organizer TST Art of Discovery Co. (京銓藝術), the 200-centimeter tall painting is around 350 years old and valued at over NT$50 million (US$1.5 million).

Was the painting insured? If so, calm down everyone.