Probably Not a Good Idea to Be Seen With Trump

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If you were hoping for a pause of the insanity of having a sitting president who is compromised by the Russians and can’t stop obstructing justice, then this is not your weekend.

Who in their right mind would be seen in public with Trump after the release of the Mueller Report? Well, now you have your answer—Rush Limbaugh, of course, and I suppose Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs are wondering what they did wrong.

To mount a full-throated defense of the indefensible is to divorce yourself from facts and reality with regards to Trump. Your garden variety publicist would be of two minds here—one, you could avoid the most toxic figure in America and maintain a low profile. Two, you could be seen as supportive and friendly, but risk being tarnished by association.

Whoever advised golfer Lexi Thompson to appear in a photograph with this president and one of the most venal conservatives in American history should be fired:

It’s a fact that Trump and Limbaugh have larger breasts than this young, athletic woman. I’m not sure what kind of a hot take that is, but it is factually correct.

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The cult of Trump is all in, baby, all in. They don’t care what “voters” think because they know their Russian friends can bail them out of tight races. They don’t care what the serfs have to say about a damned thing. They have one constituency, and it’s a pitifully small group of oligarchs in Russia and the United States who are going to spend the next twenty-one months on this Earth stealing everything that they can get their hands on.

I had a bunch of tubby jokes, but fat shaming these men is impossible.

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They don’t know what shame is anymore. They blunder through life, fucking everything up, and they can’t be bothered with how it looks. Someone else will repair the ruins. They know a Democrat will be elected in 2020, and that president will spend 8 years fixing everything they’ve broken. And then we’ll do it all over again because Americans never seem to learn the truth about Republicans, do they?

The Scum of the Earth

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Are we accustomed to the idea that there is no meritocracy? And that celebrities who pay to put their underachieving influencer kids in colleges where they don’t belong are a normal thing we have to deal with now?

No, because these people committed felonies:

Actress Lori Loughlin appeared in Los Angeles federal court Wednesday afternoon, following her arrest for involvement in what authorities say is the largest college admission scam in the United States. The actress has been charged with allegedly funnelling $500,000 to rowing coaches at the University of Southern California in order to secure admission to the elite school for her two daughters, Isabella and Olivia, also known as the YouTube influencer Olivia Jade. 

According to court documents published by Buzzfeed News, Loughlin’s bribe allowed for both girls to be accepted as rowing recruits, despite the fact that neither teenager plays crew. Loughlin’s husband, fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, also named among the 50 individuals charged in the indictment, appeared in court Tuesday.

If you want to bring back the guillotine, I would caution you that what follows probably isn’t that great. I like your enthusiasm and energy, and I think you have a lot of spunk, but you need to tone it down a bit. I do think that the end result of all of this should be a lot of mockery, jail time, and restitution:

Even Loughlin’s daughters are starting to feel the social hurt of the scandal. On Tuesday, TMZ reported that Loughlin’s influencer daughter, Olivia Jade, had spent the night before her mother’s arrest on a yacht in the Bahamas owned by Chairman of USC's Board of Trustees Rick Caruso. On Wednesday afternoon, just as  Loughlin prepared to leave federal court on bail, she had “decided it would be in her best interests to return home” and left Caruso’s yacht, he told TMZ. 

She may be facing more than just her mother's indictment, however. Late Wednesday, USC issued a statement announcing plans to “conduct a case-by-case review for current students and graduates that may be connected to the scheme alleged by the government.”

Yeah, that’s totally normal. I would be willing to bet you that she wasn’t the only privileged kid forced to leave a cruise on a yacht because one or both parents were arrested by the FBI on just any old day of the week.

It’s time to accept the fact that hard work and talent mean nothing in this country. We are no different than the British, the French, or the Germans. Who you are and where you are in this life are largely determined by what your parents do for a living. If you were born of the right stock, go ahead and get high on your own stash and pretend to be able to function in polite society. If not, get ready to pound sand. You can work hard your whole life and you’re never going to have anything remotely similar to what the chinless failson of a billionaire will be handed. The quicker we figure out that the only decent people in this country are the ones who are white, sexually deviant, and wealthy, the better. Everyone else is a perpetrator, a serf, or a basic poor.

Thank God we’re not in the middle of a real shooting war. I would hate to see what the cannon fodder would look like. Probably a lot of stressed out kids who could only get into State universities.

What a Wonderful Bag of Nuts Olivia Colman Is

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Olivia Colman is going to get a lot of attention from now on, if only because her stream-of-consciousness reaction to being given awards is so highly entertaining as to perhaps eclipse the very excellent work she does in films.

Her resume is incredibly impressive, and she is one of the hardest working actresses in the world. She even appeared in the original version of the Office! The attention she is getting is overdue.