It's Called Foot Powder

Allow an old man who uses foot products to explain this to you:

Lindsay Lohan was leaving a friends house in Los Angeles on Saturday when a generous amount of unidentified white powder started shooting out of her shoes. In some angles, it appeared there was smoke puffing out of her feet, and upon closer inspection, you can see her shoes and ankles are covered in the substance.

Last week, she took a tumble onto a cactus while wearing similar high-heeled shoes. She has blamed pushy photographers and not intoxication for the fall. She later joked that she should "start wearing more flats." Could this all be a simple case of too much baby powder in an attempt to keep her accident-prone feet dry? The cactus incident may have driven her to take steps to stay on her feet, but this string of odd episodes raises other concerns.

The 'Mean Girls' actress has admitted to drug use in the past and recent reports of increased partying have been a cause of concern among her friends and Hollywood observers. An unnamed friend tells TMZ, "If she doesn't get help soon, she's going to die."

Now, that could be baby powder, or it could be foot powder, and it could also be an undisclosed white powder that will make someone fly for days. I make no secret of adoring Lindsay Lohan; I refuse to let people tear her down without trying to defend her in some way. Lindsay might be looking to pick up an endorsement deal. Now, is foot powder a classy product? Not really, and it could lead to a Megan Mullally situation, where a classy lady endorses a crap product. I would like to see Lindsay avoid such a thing; cash flow being what it is, Lindsay might not have a choice.

My guess is that a servant used too much foot powder in her stanky shoes. It happens to me on a regular basis, especially when I can't get good help. I need a thin application of foot powder applied regularly to my feet and to the instep of my leather boat shoes just to survive a hot afternoon. If not, the shoes begin to turn on me, and I hate throwing out shoes just because they smell. If I could wear socks, this wouldn't be a problem. Alas, I cannot.

One day, I'll tell you that secret. Til then, you'll just have to speculate.