The Funniest Thing Jay Leno Has Said in Twenty Years

There are some whoppers here, but the last one is the funniest thing Leno has said in a good, long while:

Prime-time newcomer Jay Leno says he would have rather stayed put at "The Tonight Show" and if NBC offered him that job again, he'd take it.

In an interview with Broadcasting & Cable magazine published online Monday, the talk show host hastily added that such a decision isn't his to make.

Conan O'Brien, his successor as "Tonight" host after 17 years, is "doing fine," Leno said.

"Conan is in the same position I was in when I took over. It takes a while. Some will like it; some will leave forever and not come back."

Leno said he doesn't think the recent controversy surrounding his former late-night rival David Letterman "will have a big effect at all."

Referring to Letterman's acknowledged sexual affairs with female members of his staff, Leno said, "If it were me, it would kill me. I'm the guy who's been married 29 years. But Dave has never pretended to be Mr. Moral America, he's never set himself up that way. He's not a hypocrite."

All of those Clinton and Monica Lewinsky jokes must have come from some other hypocrite, then. How pathetic is it when, after having been dumped like old potatoes by NBC, Leno still thinks he can slouch back to where he was and take his old job back and not look like Willy Loman after fifty slammed doors.