Hillary Clinton Can't Be President Now

Damn, dudes. You should have told her about this.

Now Hillary Clinton can't run for President. What are we gonna do?

Seriously, though. This is the government. Nobody wants you to get your grubby mitts on their E-mails. I'm surprised a mail server wasn't accidentally erased or something. Someone somewhere drafted a legal opinion covering Clinton's use of personal E-mail and she was granted an exemption and we will learn that there is a legal precedent and blah, blah, blah. Oh, and Bush did it, ten times worse, so we're done here.

Nothing ever sticks to a person named Clinton, up to and including an abuse of power or a neglect of toll road or a debauchment of property or a violation of standards because they're the Clintons, dammit. Their enemies make up stuff on a regular basis that never, ever accomplishes anything other than handing them more money and giving them more power.

There are only endless months ahead for people to reveal the abuses of power conducted by the Clintons, all of which mean they can't be co-President again. I can't wait! It's like Christmas and your birthday, all rolled up in a Ding Dong and deep fried in love and pancake batter.