Never Do Anything Smart or Funny

Someone somewhere is going to be highly offended and put out by the adaptation of Paddington for the big screen. This is a reflection of the culture--no matter what you do, expect phony outrage and bullshit for your troubles. We live in a culture where there are genuine racist and improper statements made all the time. Because the people who legitimately react to these slights are given a tremendous amount of media coverage and moral authority, others pile onto the bandwagon.

Paddington is thus a bandwagon for phony outrage. Never offend anyone ever. Don't even make a dandruff joke about being a stuffed bear. It will lead to hurt feelings and Tweets and screaming.