The Baltimore Crabs


I will solve your problem for you:
Every team has a defining moment during the season. For the Los Angeles Clippers, that moment is likely Tuesday night. With the series against their cross-state rival the Golden State Warriors knotted at two games, a loss will be tough to recover from. A win would keep them on track to reach their first NBA finals in team history. The game also marks a defining moment for the Clippers organization—it will be the first time the Clippers play at the Staples Center since their owner, Donald Sterling, was exposed as a racist. Depending on how NBA Commissioner Adam Silver handles his first major crisis, the Sterling scandal could be either the beginning of the end of the Clippers or the final step on their ascendancy to the throne of Los Angeles basketball.
Why save the Clippers? Contracting the National Basketball Association by one team would not be a fatal move; it would eliminate the stain of the controversy, and it would allow the remaining teams in the league to hold a lottery draft for the 12-20 players whose rights (D-league, injured, or otherwise) are held by the Clippers. It would drive Donald Sterling from the league and leave his empire in shambles, effectively demonstrating that anyone who doesn't clean up their act can be removed from the fraternity of owners. And it would make this issue go away--the franchise death penalty has a way of doing that.

Might I humbly suggest putting a professional basketball team in Baltimore, Maryland?  Call them the Baltimore Crabs or the Maryland Mayhem. The area already has the Bay Area Shuckers and many people spend the bulk of their vacation time or their free time reminiscing about the Baltimore Pearls. Baltimore would be a heck of a town for pro basketball. All anyone would have to do is build an arena for it to happen. Why the hell not?

UPDATE: Donald Sterling has been banned for life. The NBA has decided to force him to sell the team. I still think they need to help the Lakers franchise and remove the Clippers from the Los Angeles market. Moving the Clippers back to San Diego makes sense, but so does relocating the team to Baltimore.