Redemption and Pubic Lice in Your Eyes

Ah, the glamour of an abandoned strip club
Pubic lice in your goddamned eyes? Really?
I was talking to some like, dude or whatever that I was at one point involved with in some capacity and I asked him what he was doing tonight and he was like, “I’m going to a strip club to see what they can do for my friend’s bachelor party.”
Now, not to harp on his word choice or whatever, but “see what they can do”?
I was like, “Let me save you the trip downtown: They can grind over your pants and lie to you about their educations and trick you into thinking that they’re in love with you so that they can extort money from you and then you can get them pregnant and have an illegitimate child hanging over your head for the rest of your life, and that’s the best case scenario. Worst case is that you get pubic lice in your eyes and you have to have surgery to drain the abscesses that the lice will create and there’s really no replacing eyes. Not for this kind of thing. If you’re blind, maybe you can get on some sort of list to have experimental eye surgery, but they’re not handing out eyes to perverts.”
I totally believe her. I believe Molls over Snopes. That's why I'm never going into a strip club ever again. Ever. Wait, not that I've ever been in one. Damn. Can't take that back, can I?

Anyway, yes they are handing out eyes to perverts. And soon, they'll be handing out porn to prisoners
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