I Would Never Wait For My Phone to Tell Me That I Was Okay

Did you know that Sharon Stone recently suffered from a stroke?
Then again, I have a crappy pre-paid cellphone:
When a patient suffers an acute stroke, the outcome often rests on how quickly they receive expert care.
Now, by using a medical application for the iPhone or Android, doctors don't need to be at a hospital to diagnose a stroke patient and begin prescribing treatment.
Specialists can determine how to treat strokes based on brain-scan images reviewed from their smartphones with nearly the same accuracy as when they use a full diagnostic workstation, according to a study by researchers at the University of Calgary.
"Now they can bring a distant expert to bear on the problem," said Ross Mitchell, a medical professor at the Canada university who worked on the study. "There's huge, huge rewards to be had here."
Medical experts have been skeptical about using a 3.5-inch screen, like the one on an iPhone, for emergency diagnoses. But thanks to advancements in image compression, microprocessors and wireless-data bandwidth, the smartphone may prove to be, like beepers, an essential tool for on-the-go doctors.
I must be suffering from "phone" or "app" envy because I see few upsides to this. 

What happens if you feel like you're having a stroke and there's no one available? Those "distant experts" aren't going to sit around waiting to help some poor schmuck. They have lives. Maybe they want a day off from listening to the same unfunny group of jackass college kids who are making a video for YouTube about how to fake a stroke in order to get people to donate money to their cause.

What happens when someone makes the wrong diagnosis over the phone, panics someone, and they crash their car into a bus load of saintly people on their way to church? What happens when someone reassures a dude over the phone that he isn't having a stroke and then he gets into his big rig and drives eighteen miles down the Interstate before his brain explodes and leaves him unconscious with the hammer down into oncoming rush hour traffic?

If you feel like you're having a stroke, get help. Hang up your damned phone already. Who is that self-absorbed and enamored of their high-priced gadget?
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