No Way Jose

Quit staring at his package, ladies!

There are a lot of men who have to pay certain women $10,000 in order to have sex with them. David Beckham is not one of those men:

In Touch Weekly claims to have the story of how Beckham cheated on his wife with a '$10,000-a-night hooker' (see Tiger Woods, Life of: for details), which included a threesome and other debauchery. Call girl Irma Nici claims to have bent it with Beckham five times in 2007.
"It was a high," Nici, 26, said to In Touch Weekly. "All of these women dream of being with him, and I got to hook up with him. It was very exciting."
From the New York Daily News:
A rep for Beckham, 35, was quick to shoot down the cheating story Wednesday morning, telling UsMagazine.com that the allegations "are completely untrue and totally ridiculous, as the magazine was clearly told before publication."
"Sadly we live in a world where a magazine can print lies and believe they can get away with it," adds the rep. "We are taking legal action against the magazine."
According to In Touch, Nici claims Beckham agreed to pay her $10,000 to spend one night together during their alleged affair.
Nope. 
Sorry, but there's no way in hell I'm buying this. If I'm wrong, and if we live in a world where David Beckham has to pay $10,000 for a hooker, then, brother, there's no hope for any of us. No. Hope. For. Any. Of. Us.