Jim Carrey is Having a Tom Cruise Meltdown


Jim Carrey
This is just the sad consequence of over-ambitious career moves and the disappointing realization that all anyone wants to see Jim Carrey do is talk out of his ass:



Jim Carrey's relationship with Jenny McCarthy isn't the only thing that's in the past. So too, he says, is a part of himself he's happy to shed.


"I have freed Truman at long last!," Carrey wrote in an explosion of post-breakup Tweets, referring to his alter-ego from The Truman Show whose entire life was surreptitiously filmed for a reality show.


"I am grateful for my avatar's many yrs of dedicated service, but no one has ever won the Tour De France while back peddling. ... so I killed him," he wrote late Sunday night. "I do not plan 2 bow to expectations or to be confined by the fear of losing altitude in the 'statusphere'! (my word)."



Since none of that makes sense, let me translate:


Where's my Oscar???


Sadly, it was not meant to be. Carrey needs to adjust to life as a clown, a Jerry Lewis-like existence that will bring him movie deals but not of the kind or quality he craves. The weirder he acts now, the harder it will be for him to pull out of a tailspin and do what he wants to do. Tom Cruise allowed his quest for legitimacy (which an Oscar brings to a Hollywood actor) to turn him into a raving lunatic. Hence, Cruise is about as likely to win one as Will Ferrell is as likely to win one. 


What's in store for Carrey? Well, Mr. Ferrell is sort of a roadmap for him. Ferrell gets work when Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. pass on projects.