Everybody Acts This Way When They Go To London

Kiefer Sutherland braces himself for a moment of clarity
I feel bad about not being completely up on what Kiefer Sutherland has been doing lately. I'm usually good about knowing what aging Hollywood bad boys with limited career choices are up to. I even know where I can find out where Josh Hartnett's career went, and, brother, you ain't finding it on IMDB.

The last time I dared write about Kiefer, I probably got it all wrong. He was framed. He was innocent. He has always been misunderstood. He doesn't miss Julia Roberts. Who, in their right mind, would miss her? Can you imagine the complaining she must do when someone forgets how wonderful she is? Is that mean? I don't mean to be mean. I just think that she's high maintenance, and Kiefer can't do high maintenance. He can do self-sufficient, if that.

Anyway, here's what's what:

Kiefer Sutherland started the night having drinks at a hotel bar — but by 4 a.m., the “24” star was photographed shirtless and stumbling on a London street.

According to reports, the actor was spotted drinking wine at the Covent Garden Hotel bar with a friend, where he stayed until 2 a.m. Next, he was driven to a nearby strip club, Stringfellow's Gentlemen's Club. Around 4 a.m., paparazzi captured the actor, who had since removed his shirt, being escorted out of the club by bouncers who held him in a headlock.

The actor was stumbling and falling all over the street — then reportedly was placed in his car and chauffeured back to his hotel.

Shirtless? Removed from a strip club?

That's date night, U.S.A., right there. Tens of thousands of men--good men, to be certain--are removed shirtless from strip clubs every day. I've been removed while shirtless from countless strip clubs, ballparks, shopping malls, grocery stores, dry cleaners and even St. Patrick's Cathedral. It's no big deal. You get a little rowdy and people make it their business to throw you out. So what? All you have to do is say, in a very loud voice, "do you know who I AM?" and then, everyone goes back to what they're doing. Works every time.

Call me when Kiefer does something worth blogging about, okay?