Saturday, April 13, 2019

It's Time to Punch Someone in the Nuts

Sternly worded tweets are not getting us anywhere.

I have never seen such lawlessness in my life. I’m sure there was a fair amount of lawlessness in Washington D.C. during the time of Warren G. Harding. I’m sure that they were rocking and rolling with the corruption and the bribery in the days of Ulysses S. Grant. Hell, they were whoring it up in the days of the Founding Fathers. And by whoring it up, I mean making it up.

The Democratic Party has a great slate of candidates. Then they have Bernie Sanders. Bernie will sink us all, and give us four more years of Trump. That’s the business model he has adopted—become a millionaire by collecting donations from people who are too fucking stupid to know better by appealing to their vanity. Do you want free everything? Bernie will give it to you, so send him some of your petty cash. He has no experience actually giving anything away except speeches, so enjoy your trip through oblivion.

I want Democrats to start punching everyone in the nuts. If you’re in the way of the rule of law, guess what? You get a punch in the nuts. If you are holding documents that belong to the American people, you get a punch in the nuts until you give them up. Did you put those babies in cages? You get a kick in the groin. We’re not limiting this to people who actually have nuts. But a post titled “It’s Time to Start Applying Major Force to the Crotch Area of Everyone Doing Evil Shit Regardless of Their Gender” just didn’t sing to me. Did you just steal some money? You get a nut punch, asshole.

I got a lot of problems with you people. The great Jerry Stiller said that once, and he transcended Seinfeld because he was old school showbiz. Jerry’s not around anymore, and a lot of great people have left us. We need to imagine what David Bowie or Paul Newman or Sam Kinison would be doing right now.

They’d be punching jerks in the nuts right now.

The entire Trump regime is in contempt of Congress, a co-equal branch of the government of the United States of America.

Don’t furrow your brow. Don’t tell me about how we have to go high because they have gone low. Punch them in the motherfucking nuts and keep punching because Western Civilization is on the line here.

Punch them in the nuts.

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