Monday, September 18, 2017

Donald Trump Jr is About to Flee to Mexico

I have it on good authority* that when Donald Trump Jr. flees to Mexico, he's going to try and hide somewhere on Cozumel and become a used scooter salesman:

Donald Trump Jr. has given up his Secret Service protection, the New York Times reports. Trump Jr. reportedly declined the protection beginning last week, citing a desire for greater privacy. It is unclear whether Trump Jr.'s wife or children will still receive the protection. Trump Jr.'s Secret Service protection has been subject to scrutiny, with some critics citing Trump Jr.'s frequent travels on behalf of the Trump Organization as a drain on the service’s resources.

Somewhere in Junior's brain, this is how things work

1. Gotta flee!

2. I'll go to Cozumel, because it's an island and Mexico has no extradition treaty with America

3. My buds can come see me

4. No one will think to look for me there, stupid media and lawyers

5. I will, thus, have fled to freedom

The problem here is that Mexico does have an extradition treaty, he'll be caught within forty-eight hours of getting there, and you have to be licensed to sell used scooters in Mexico if you're not a Mexican citizen.

This is another example of how the best people, with the best genes, end up flat on their face in handcuffs over by where the tourists pay too much for tacos and cheap liquor.

Seriously, though--the only reason why someone about to be indicted for a Federal crime would give up Secret Service protection is so that he can go about the business of destroying evidence and cover his tracks without having reputable individuals around to track his every movement and create a paper trail of his activities and who he meets with.

Or you can buy the story of how Junior thinks being a Cozumel scooter salesman would totally burn everyone and lead to decades of happiness and getting toasted all the time.

*of course not. I have no idea! That's how the Internet works now!

1 comment:

  1. Throw the entire inbred family of Traitors and Thieves and Warmongers in prison! They are the filthiest parasites ever to infect our White House!