Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Chris Cillizza is an Ambulatory Bag of Dicks

Pedestrian lickspittle Chris Cillizza occupies a prime piece of real estate at CNN. I guess this is my envy coming to light because if I had his position on their website, I certainly wouldn't write appallingly trite shit like this and hand it in for people to read:

Russia is going to be with Trump for a very long time.

No shit, Sherlock.

And we know, from oodles of great reporting as well as his Twitter feed, that Trump is uniquely fixated -- and bothered -- by the ongoing Russia probe. We also know that those around Trump -- led by his eldest son, Don Jr. -- can't seem to get their story straight about what happened, when it happened and why it happened.

In short: Russia was the story of the first six months of this administration, and all signs point to it being the story of the second six months too.

Again, someone paid you for this stunning analysis?

Depending on how Trump, his allies and his Republican counterparts -- some of whom are his allies, some of whom aren't -- handle these next six months on Russia will almost certainly determine whether his presidency tips into political oblivion or whether he can wrench the wheel of state back to more favorable ground.

Given that Trump scored the single biggest upset in modern political history less than a year ago, no one should rule out that latter possibility.

This is what is called "hedging a bet" and "planning for those easy columns I can write when Trump turns this around and then I can say that I predicted he would revive himself because I am brilliant. Like Trump!"

But, after six months of "Trump the President," the likeliest outcome seems to be a slip into the political abyss. Believe me. Bigly.

I think it's safe to say we can "rule out that latter possibility" because there's no coming back from the hole Trump has dug for himself.

If we were looking at anything resembling an accomplishment and if the steady march to impeachment for obstruction of justice and money laundering had been thrown off in the Spring, I would still say that Trump has no chance. I'm not gonna lie to you--this administration is like watching shit fly though a goose. You don't want to see it but you can't look away and oh, man, that stunned look on the faces of the people covered in grey and white feces proves that it couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of Republicans.

He has no chance because governing the American people comes at you fast. He has no support from Republicans in Congress on anything except keeping his job, and they're not interested in governing, either. What they wanted to be doing right now was building a calendar full of hearings where they could bring Hillary's cabinet up to the Hill and grill them for days on end and score points with their knuckle-dragging base. Instead, they're desperate to keep the lights in the building off so that Trump won't call.

Trump has no natural ability to govern, and this is why he is a failure. He has utterly and completely spent what little political capital he has because, well, when you lose the popular vote by three million and give an inaugural speech that read better when that twerp screamed it at the drowsy legions of the First Order on Star Killer Base, you don't have a future in American politics.

In the next six months to a year, the economy is going to tank. I think we're due for a downturn, and I suspect that our lack of international cooperation with the flow of goods is going to hit us hard. I hope to hell we don't have a recession, but I can feel one coming on. Once people associate a shitty economy with Trump's nutty way of not governing, it'll be over before you know it.

I also get the sense that there is a mounting sadness in the country amongst feckless television and print pundits. They thought 2017 was going to be the year of hating Democrats. Everyone was savoring the chance to write their horrible, horrible columns about Hillary. This is one Cillizza was hoping he was going to be able to make bank on--changing Trump to Clinton in an instantaneous affair for the lazy hack. Now look at the work he has to do! He has to remember every time Trump fucked himself sideways on purpose while Tweeting on the biffy.

But, shame on CNN for every day we're subjected to the frothing bothersiderisms of that ambulatory back of dicks called Chris Cillizza. Really, CNN? What the fuck did this wonderful country ever do to you?

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