An American Lion

Hannah Montana Eggo Waffles

You know, President Obama is derelict in his duties as the Commander-in-Chief. He needs to formulate an Eggo Waffle strategy, ASAP, and get it done before COB:

As Eggo Waffles become rare on store shelves, due to problems at Kellogg bakeries, the company is rationing them — and may continue to do so through mid-2010.

“We are working around the clock to restore Eggo store inventories to normal levels as quickly as possible,” wrote Kellogg spokeswoman Kris Charles in an e-mail. “In the meantime, we’re allocating available product to customers based on historical percentage of business.”

So which regions might get their Eggos back first? Mrs. Charles wouldn’t say, adding only that Kellogg has “loyal Eggo consumers across the country.”

Eggos are in short supply because two of the company’s four frozen-waffle facilities have had operational problems in recent months. In September, Kellogg announced it had shut down its Atlanta plant after a Georgia Agricultural Department test revealed the bacteria listeria in a sample of Kellogg’s Buttermilk Eggo Waffles. Listeria has been linked to meningitis and encephalitis, according to the Food and Drug Administration.

Was it really a production problem—or was it a Hannah Montana problem?

I don’t know. Seems kind of strange that we would run out of something that should really be manufactured on a regional basis at multiple food processing plants anyway. I thought that, by now, we would have consolidation, whereby, many multiple types of food products would be made at plants specializing in different kinds of production for multiple brands. That would seem more efficient to me, at least.

This is filler, by the way. How many bloggers tell you up front that they are tired and don’t have anything much to add to an interesting news item? How many bloggers will even tag what they’re doing as filler? I don’t have a tag for that by the way, and it might hurt someone’s feelings if I used it. I would hate to be sitting here one day and get another E-mail from some wounded, crying old beagle with a half-assed website, upset that my blog item about something they spent four hours slaving over was categorized and tagged as “filler.” I don’t have time to read and respond to those kinds of E-mails. I don’t even have time to go take down all of the very hurtful comments from the Michigan Militia—those sons of bitches are weird. I’ve never seen so many Bible passages in one comment thread.

Anyway, Eggo waffles go through me like shit through a goose. I can’t eat them. I have to stay away from waffles and pancakes. They make my system turn on itself.