An American Lion

This is where Norman Rogers practices the manly art of curation.

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The Frisky Mole Boy of Groton

Norman Rogers recounts the summer he spent hiding from the stern love of his father and living as the world-famous “frisky mole boy” in the Groton, Connecticut sewer system. The Frisky Mole Boy of Groton seduced the women of the town and solved crimes, all while subsisting on a steady diet of depravity and confusion.

Rampage of the Innocents is my unfinished but brilliant Historical Romance Novel (now, with more sex and violence for my teenaged readers)

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    An American Lion

    Entries in Fame (5)

    Friday
    May212010

    Think of the Overseas Profits, You Fools

    Dora the Explorer, circa 2010This is getting ridiculous--Dora the Explorer doesn't look anything like this photo anymore:

    In her police mug shot, the doe-eyed cartoon heroine with the bowl haircut has a black eye, battered lip and bloody nose.

    Dora the Explorer's alleged crime? "Illegal Border Crossing Resisting Arrest."

    The doctored picture, one of several circulating widely in the aftermath of Arizona's controversial new immigration law, may seem harmless, ridiculous or even tasteless.

    Lest you think I'm joking, here. Experts. They have this to say, so you'd better listen:

    But experts say the pictures and the rhetoric surrounding them online, in newspapers and at public rallies, reveal some Americans' attitudes about race, immigrants and where some of immigration reform debate may be headed.

    "Dora is kind of like a blank screen onto which people can project their thoughts and feelings about Latinos," said Erynn Masi de Casanova, a sociology professor at the University of Cincinnati. "They feel like they can say negative things because she's only a cartoon character."

    The depictions, whether through irony or protest, are being used by those who oppose and support Arizona's law. On one hand she's a likable symbol who many can relate to, and at the same time, perceived as an outsider who doesn't belong anywhere.

    Now, what gets my blood boiling is that the ignorant jackasses that did this sort of thing don't really seek anything other than a cheap laugh. They're not making a salient point. They're putting a black eye on a treasured childhood image.

    Dora the Explorer is a proud symbol of for-profit children's television. Do you have any idea--any freaking idea--how much money Dora has made for her owners? She's a veritable cash cow in terms of merchandising and overseas sales. Forget the U.S. distribution--think of all of the money she makes in places where they barely get television.

    Yeah.

    Got you there.

    Ride the lightning, homeys. Peace out.

    Thursday
    May202010

    Throw These Animals in Prison

    Something just hasn't clicked with the Salahis. 

    They think they're famous. They think they have a legitimate claim to something. They think they can do whatever the hell they want. They have no respect for this country, the institution of the Presidency, or the rule of law. In fact, they are shameless hucksters, using any chance they can to their advantage.

    Their contempt for this country is boundless. Nothing gets through to them. Being called before the Congress didn't get through to them. Being interviewed by the Secret Service? It's a joke to them. Being humiliated? That just means people like them more, you see.

    Well, guess what this scum did yesterday:

    A Secret Service spokesman says Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the couple that crashed the first Obama state dinner last year, were stopped last night close to the White House after their limo driver ran a red light.

    The spokesman says an officer in the Secret Service uniformed division saw their car go through the red light, then appear to prepare to drive onto the Elipse, a street near the White House not open to normal traffic. When the limo stopped and put on its flashers, the officer questioned the driver and the Salahis. The driver was given a ticket and allowed to leave.

    One government official said it appeared that the Salahis were preparing to be photographed in front of the White House during the state dinner but said there was no indication they were trying to get into the dinner.

    Are they a threat? Well, they think that they can do whatever they want. Anyone who goes through what they have gone through, and can't get the message is definitely delusional. These people think they are part of something that they are not. They are stalkers. They are no different than the crazy lady who showed up inside of David Letterman's house or the crazies who climb fences in Hollywood and sleep in pool houses until Sean Penn or Jennifer Aniston have to have their hired help throw them out.

    These people think they can play games with the physical security of the White House grounds, which is really a big red zone in downtown Washington D.C. These people are no different than the occasional bag of nuts that climbs the fence and gets three steps across the front lawn. They clearly have some mental issues. Anyone who thinks that they can just waltz up and flip a big "Fuck You" at the White House and have their cute picture taken outside, well, where does it end? How does this story end when these people can't get what they want? What happens when something really snaps in their squirming little reptile minds? All they care about is the adulation and fame they can acquire for themselves; they are clearly deranged and full of hubris.

    After everything that has happened, a couple with a modicum of shame and humility would not have had their limo driver stop near the White House last night. They should have stayed home and watched something on the DVR. They should have had a nice night out in Annapolis or Leesburg. Anywhere but Lafayette Park.

    I'd say that if the Secret Service were to incarcerate them indefinitely, and have them undergo a psychiatric evaluation, it wouldn't be a bad idea. Why is anyone playing like this isn't something worth dealing with? Throw their goddamned asses in jail for a few months.

    And then, the next time they dress up and show up near the White House in their Sunday best, put a few rounds into the radiator of their vehicle and hogtie them. Make a great show of scuffing up their finery as you throw them in the D.C. police paddy wagon. See if that gets through to them.

    Wednesday
    Mar312010

    A Misguided Sense of Fairness and Decency

    I don’t need to ask Osama Bin Laden anything, other than whether or not he’d like me to kick his ass into oblivion or cut off his head with a rusty shovel:

    “Imagine if somebody were to really sit down with Osama Bin Ladin and say, ‘listen man,what is it that you’re so angry at me about that you’re willing to have people strap bombs to themselves, or get inside of airplanes and fly them into buildings.’ That would be the miracle if we can get, sit down and talk to our enemies and find a way for them to hear us.” – Matthew Modine

    There’s a reason why you shouldn’t go to actors or celebrities for political insight. Now, were I an actor or a celebrity, fine, you could still come to me for advice and information. But, my acting and celebrity activities would detract from my brilliant analysis, and, in the end, I’d end up half-assing everything. I refuse to do that. I also refuse to allow myself to be blinded by ideology or a misguided sense of being fair and reasonable. Some things you just don’t need to debate.

    For example, a man who starts a terrorist organization and sends ignorant followers out to die isn’t a reasonable person, and debating such a person has to sort of begin with this premise—what is it about killing innocent people that you don’t understand? The thing I hate to have to point out to you is this—at what point did Mr. Bin Laden extend to the multitude of his victims the courtesy of a sit-down and a chat?

    Some of our enemies talk to us on a daily basis—that’s what we call “diplomacy.” You extend diplomacy to the reasonable and the not-so-reasonable. You don’t extend that courtesy to a stateless killer who demonstrates fundamentalist tendencies and homicidal beliefs. At that point, no, you don’t reason with the unreasonable. You don’t negotiate or banter with people who have made up their minds to conduct themselves like animals. You need merely to destroy them. Making a concerted effort towards understanding them would legitimize their insanity.

    Saturday
    Mar132010

    I Want to Be the Han Han of America

    Han Han

    They say that Chinese blogger and pretty boy Han Han is the most popular writer in the world, but that’s only because they have a lot of computers in China. If China only had a few thousand computers, he wouldn’t be so popular. I want to be Han Han. He’s young, he races cars, he writes nasty things about the Chinese communists, and young women fall for brokers and flim-flam men who trick the ladies into thinking Han Han wants to be their lover.

    Anyone can criticize a totalitarian government; few people have the celebrity to pull it off:

    IT’S not so easy being Han Han, the heartthrob race car driver and pop novelist who just happens to be China’s most widely read blogger.

    Traveling incognito is all but impossible. Local officials frequently vie for his endorsement of their latest architectural boondoggles. (He politely declines.) And love-lorn young women often approach him after races with letters bearing his name. (He says the women have been duped by impostors who have assumed his identity.)

    But Mr. Han’s most vexing challenge comes from a more formidable nemesis: the unseen censors who delete blog posts they deem objectionable and the publishing police who have held up the release of his new magazine, “A Chorus of Solos,” a provocative collection of essays and photographs. “The government wants China to become a great cultural nation, but our leaders are so uncultured,” he said with a shrug, offering his characteristic Cheshire-cat grin. “If things continue like this, China will only be known for tea and pandas.”

    Since he began blogging in 2006, Mr. Han has been delivering increasingly caustic attacks on China’s leadership and the policies he contends are creating misery for those unlucky enough to lack a powerful government post. With more than 300 million hits to his blog, he may be the most popular living writer in the world.

    I happen to be good-looking enough to be a sort of Han Han for the over 60 crowd; many women in their forties and fifties stare at me in airports and I get propositioned all the time. I haven’t had to beat them off with a stick (broom handle, actually) since my one North American concert tour in 1984 as an International pop star. It’s a good thing the financial world drew me back in; I would hate to have become Han Han as a younger man; I’d be broke and lonely, and pathetic like Hugh Grant or Bob Saget right now. I’d rather have the fame and adulation (and the blog hits) now, when I can relax and enjoy my life.

    Thursday
    Dec172009

    Learning From the Tragedy of Chris Henry

    This is just too sad for words:
    Charlotte-Mecklenburg police say Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry has died, one day after suffering serious injuries upon falling out of the back of a pickup truck in what authorities describe as a domestic dispute with his fiancee.

    Police say Henry died at 6:36 a.m. Thursday. Henry was 26.

    Away from the team because of a broken forearm, Henry was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after being found on a residential road. Police say a dispute began at a home about a half-mile away, and Henry jumped into the bed of the truck as his fiancee was driving away from the residence.

    Police said at some point when she was driving, Henry “came out of the back of the vehicle.”
    What do you do at this point? What do you do if you’re the National Football League and you see, time and again, a serious problem with your players, with the lifestyle they find themselves in as rookies, and domestic violence?

    Rookie orientation in the NFL is a series of classes or briefings where new players are shown some of the pitfalls that go with big money contracts, old friends from the neighborhood, new girlfriends and wives, and everything that goes with becoming a high profile member of a community.

    I think the NFL deserves credit for rookie orientation, but perhaps what it needs is an ongoing briefing, held every year for every team, that helps show players how society is evolving. Call it the Insider Briefing. Make it about players talking to players, not some crusty old veteran giving a PowerPoint about what happened to him when he woke up drunk in his driveway in a stolen prom dress when he played for Denver in the 1980s. You haven’t heard that one? I made it up. I made it up because a variation of that happened to me when I played for Princeton. Don’t ask, because we don’t talk about the prom dress in the Rogers household. Suffice it so say, Mr. Peej was able to prevent the Princeton cops from pressing charges against me because we were able to salvage the dress and the reputation of that high school girl. It cost us all of our mad money for the month, but it was worth it.

    The Insider Briefing can be as simple as having a troubled player go around and talk about what he thinks is right or wrong about being an NFL player who runs afoul of the law. It should not be about shame. It should be someone at that very elite level being able to go into a room without being judged to talk with men at his elite level and it should be a conversation, not a lecture. I realize that these men play on teams. In point of fact, they play on teams that are a part of a League, and that league is an ever-changing and evolving thing. I would like to see something put in place that takes a player like Chris Henry, who has had trouble, and maybe a Peyton Manning and three guys who don’t start who play on other teams and has them go around during training camp to spend some time with other players to talk about what they see, what they know about groupies and hangers-on, what they think can be done to deal with a girlfriend who is spending too much money, what can be done about family members who ask for money, and what guns, violence and fear of failure can do to someone who is exalted above all others.

    I hate to tag you with this, Mr. Manning, but, so far, you haven’t screwed up and driven your vehicle into a crowded Outback Steakhouse with a naked grandmother on the hood and an Uzi on your lap. Let’s help other players avoid such a thing, and let’s help you with their perspective on keeping the media, the whores, the drugs, the politicians, and the Disney Corporation at bay.

    Don’t think I’m not looking at you, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson. I see you flirting with Disney. We’re here to bring you back, brother. I know you didn’t get to play in the NFL, but let’s be honest—Miami is damned near the NFL, and is practically the development league. Mr. Johnson has a nephew drafted by the Browns and another nephew at UCLA—and we need to save him from the Disney Corporation. We need to reach out to a brother in need and see if someone can hook him up with some honest cheddar. I understand you’re going to do Jonny Quest. Before there even was a Jonny Quest, I was Jonny Quest. The basis of that show was stolen from my Father, and from the life we lived on the lam from the Truman Administration. Don’t laugh. At one time, I was the most famous boy in the world, except now everyone has forgotten me because Father used his connections to prevent me from becoming the next Opie. Yes, we really have to have seven or eight more blog posts about this, don’t we? Father—I’m spilling the beans. You’re almost dead, and we can deal with this sooner than later.

    It’s probably not realistic, but it can’t be about blaming this young man just for doing something stupid and dying too young. There are so many people who live at the intersection of fame, fortune, and celebrity who can help. It doesn’t matter if you’re the late Steve McNair or someone who got cut and never made it. Everyone needs help understanding what can happen and what can go wrong with you mix money, family, and fame or near fame in a big ol’ bowl and try to fight over who gets to take the first drink and how much and when they can drink it.

    On the off chance that someone who plays on special teams for another team who had a thing with a fiancee three years ago can go into a room and talk to people like Chris Henry and say, “you know, sometimes, it’s better to just let her drive away. Let her go have a moment. Let her think about things and come back when she’s ready.” That may or may not have been the thing that caused Henry to pause and walk back into the house. I don’t know.

    Realistic? I don’t know. I don’t want to write a condemnation when writing something a little more constructive might go down better than a poison pill or just some tut-tut joke at someone’s expense. This is not a joke—there’s no reason this young mad had to fall into the road and die in a hospital.