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Rampage of the Innocents - My Historical Romance Novel (now, with more sex and violence for my teenaged readers)

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The Frisky Mole Boy of Groton

Norman Rogers recounts the summer he spent hiding from the stern love of his father and living as the world-famous “frisky mole boy” in the Groton, Connecticut sewer system.

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    Entries in Culture (140)

    Saturday
    06Mar2010

    An Idea Whose Time Has Come

    Your honor, my client pleads guilty to being an alpine Ibex…

    If I were taking the bar exam next week, I’d probably pass (even though I have absolutely no law training whatsoever) and I’d probably become the nation’s foremost attorney for pets:

    Swiss voters will go to the polls on Sunday to decide on a proposal to appoint state-funded lawyers across the country to represent animals in court.

    Supporters of the initiative say such lawyers would help deter cases of animal cruelty and neglect, by making sure that those who did abuse or neglect animals would be properly punished.

    Opponents however claim that Switzerland, which already has strict animal protection laws, does not need any more legislation.

    The canton of Zurich has in fact had its own animal lawyer for a number of years; the current incumbent, Antoine Goetschel, is the only state-funded lawyer in Switzerland who goes to court to speak on behalf of animals.

    America is the home of zany animal advocacy antics. We need animal lawyers now in the worst way, since we already put the needs of animals above those of kids and other human beings in many situations. Attorneys who are out of work, too incompetent to do anything difficult, or have been fired because their client forgot to show up for court could thrive as animal lawyers. I smell the makings of a show on NBC here. As far as I know, Kelsey Grammer is still desperately looking for work.

    Sunday
    28Feb2010

    Never too busy for Khloe Kardashian

    President Obama shakes hands with Khloe Kardashian

    One of the things you have to admire about President Obama is his ability to waste time talking to reality television trash just days before firing his social secretary because she allowed reality television trash to wander into the White House (this photo dates back to Monday, but I hadn’t seen it til now).

    This practice of letting the team that just won a league championship visit the White House is getting old.

    Friday
    26Feb2010

    And I Thought I Was a Terrible Parent

    I won’t go into all of the awful things that I did as a parent—up to and including taking my three boys to Metallica concerts and paying roadies to beat up anyone who wouldn’t sit down in front of us so we could see them set up Lars’ drum kit—but at least I’m not this bag of nuts:

    Police said the mother of an elementary school student drank a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor before brandishing a sword in her child’s school. The woman, 32, apparently intended to confront the parents of another child who had been in a spitting match with her child the previous day.

    According to court records, an employee at Riverview Elementary School in Memphis reported a drunk woman armed with a sword was running through the halls of the school and had threatened to cut her.

    Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black cane that concealed the blade.

    The woman charged with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school property.

    Can I live where she lives? That has to be the cutting edge of a new dawn in American culture—a dawn where anything goes, even spitting matches.

    What happened to the Chess Club? This used to be a geeky country. Now, it’s a drunken lout of a country, making use of the swords that the geeks thought were bitchen. And what’s with all of the sword attacks? Is this because you can go into specialty stores in cheap malls and buy knockoff swords made out of tin? Are we going to see a nationwide ban on swords perpetrated by some well-intentioned scold now?

    Thursday
    25Feb2010

    The Most Awkward Handshake of the Year

    Indian Foreign Secretary Nirupama Rao, left, shakes hand with her Pakistani counterpart Salman Bashir before the start of a delegation level meeting, in New Delhi, Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010.

    It looks cordial, but it probably isn’t:

    India and Pakistanheld their first official talks Thursday since the 2008 Mumbai siege, with both sides saying they wanted to rebuild trust shattered in that attack but acknowledging that the meeting was just a first step toward a renewed peace process.

    The four-hour meeting between the nuclear-armed rivals ranged from shared water resources to the status of the disputed Himalayan region of Kashmir. But terrorism was the focus of the discussions - an emphasis Pakistan quickly made clear would only slow further talks.

    “The only way forward is to engage meaningfully across the board, and not hold the relationship hostage” to the issue of terrorism, Pakistani Foreign Secretary Salman Bashir told reporters after the meetings. India has long argued that Pakistan has not done enough to rein in militants operating from its soil, an accusation that Pakistan denies.

    Expectations were extremely low for Thursday’s talks, which were seen as little more than a symbolic first meeting and which India had billed as “talks about talks.” Both sides indicated little of substance had been achieved.

    I’m still stunned by the Mumbai attack, and I have to pay tribute to the restraint of India. I really believed that, when Mumbai happened, we were going to see an all-out shooting war along the Kashmir frontier at a minimum and much, much worse at the maximum.

    Well, diplomacy always helps. I do think the lady does show a bit of skin here, however. Is that an accident or is that rubbing salt in a fundamentalist wound? Somewhere, a Taliban flunky is looking for a fainting couch after being shown the short sleeves of a professional woman in public.

    Tuesday
    09Feb2010

    The Economics of Being Wired

    Oh, discretionary all the way:

    John Anderson and Sharon Rapoport estimate they spend $400 a month, or close to $5,000 a year, keeping their family of four entertained at home.

    There are the $30-a-month data plans on their BlackBerry Tour cellphones. The Roanoke, Va., couple’s teenage sons, Seth and Isaac, each have $50 subscriptions for Xbox Live and send thousands of texts each month on their cellphones, requiring their own data plans.

    DirecTV satellite service, high-speed Internet access and Netflix for movie nights add more.

    “We try to be aware of it so it doesn’t get out of control,” said Mr. Anderson, who with his wife founded an advertising agency. “But, yeah, I would say we’re pretty wired.”

    It used to be that a basic $25-a-month phone bill was your main telecommunications expense. But by 2004, the average American spent $770.95 annually on services like cable television, Internet connectivity and video games, according to data from the Census Bureau. By 2008, that number rose to $903, outstripping inflation. By the end of this year, it is expected to have grown to $997.07. Add another $1,000 or more for cellphone service and the average family is spending as much on entertainment over devices as they are on dining out or buying gasoline.

    And those government figures do not take into account movies, music and television shows bought through iTunes, or the data plans that are increasingly mandatory for more sophisticated smartphones.

    For many people, the subscriptions and services for entertainment and communications, which are more often now one and the same, have become indispensable necessities of life, on par with electricity, water and groceries. And for every new device, there seems to be yet another fee. Buyers of the more advanced Apple iPad, to cite the latest example, can buy unlimited data access for $30 a month from AT&T even if they already have a data plan from the carrier.

    “You don’t really lump these expenses into a discretionary category,” said Robert H. Frank, an economics professor at the Johnson Graduate School of Management at Cornell University. “As the expectation of connectedness increases, it’s what is expected for people to be functional in society.”

    Don’t pay those ridiculous high prices for data. Compartmentalize your day into periods spent avoiding technology at all costs. Read books and walk. Avoid the trappings of being a slave to your E-mail—that’s what drives the costs in the first place. You do not need to be connected every minute of every day. That’s for peons. Do not be a peon. Be someone who tells peons to watch their E-mail for instructions, then go make a salad after you’ve had a brisk four mile walk.

    Thursday
    04Feb2010

    Tenure Means That Dead Wood Can Avoid Teaching Forever

    Am I reading this wrong? I don’t think I am:

    The leader of the country’s largest university thinks it’s time to re-examine how professors are awarded tenure, a type of job-for-life protection virtually unknown outside academia.

    Ohio State University President Gordon Gee says the traditional formula that rewards publishing in scholarly journals over excellence in teaching and other contributions is outdated and too often favors the quantity of a professor’s output over quality.

    “Someone should gain recognition at the university for writing the great American novel or for discovering the cure for cancer,” he told The Associated Press. “In a very complex world, you can no longer expect everyone to be great at everything.”

    Plenty of people have raised the issue over the years, but Gee is one of the few American college presidents with the reputation and political prowess — not to mention the golden touch at fundraising — who might be able to begin the transformation.

    It’s not about who is good at teaching; it’s more a case of who is able to bring a certain level of prominence to the academic institution. If you go on to read the article, one professor cannot expect tenure unless she publishes a certain book. That’s fine—but is she any good at her job?

    How do you evaluate that? At Princeton, here’s how I evaluated my professors: if Peej, who went to classes for me, thought they were fools, then they were fools. Peej probably knows more about education than I’ll ever know. And that’s a good thing. You don’t want someone as frisky as me trying to stay focused in a classroom. I tend to wander off. You don’t want me deciding who gets tenure. I do everything based on class and looks.