An American Lion

Being able to make money overseas is my business. The Internal Revenue Service should let me make my money and it should not come after me for more taxes. What incentive do I have to make money overseas if the government is going to come after a small portion of it to pay for things that I don't need, like health care or putting every welfare queen in Chicago, Illinois in her own Escalade:

A debate is underway about how the United States should tax foreign-source, corporate income. Currently, the United States allows domestic corporations to defer tax on the earnings of their foreign subsidiaries and also gives credits for foreign taxes paid, while most other developed countries exempt the active earnings of their multinational corporations' foreign subsidiaries from domestic tax. The debate has focused on economic issues with little attention to tax administration. GAO was asked to describe for a group of study countries with exemption systems: (1) the rules for exempting foreign-source income, and (2) the compliance risk and taxpayer compliance burden, such as recordkeeping, of the rules. The study countries, selected to provide a range of exemption systems, are Australia, Canada, France, Germany, and the Netherlands. For these countries GAO reviewed documents; interviewed government officials, academic experts, and business representatives; and compared tax policies, compliance activities and taxpayer reporting requirements.

The study countries exempt some corporate income, such as dividends received from foreign subsidiaries, from domestic tax. However, the study countries tax other types of foreign-source income such as royalties. Multinational corporations present a compliance risk because they can use subsidiaries to convert taxable income into tax-exempt or lower taxed income, eroding the domestic tax base. Although quantitative estimates of noncompliance do not exist, tax experts interviewed by GAO identified sources of compliance risk and taxpayer burden in each of the study countries. These issues, particularly the ones below, have also been identified as sources of compliance risk and burden in the United States. Transfer prices--the prices for transactions between related parties--can be manipulated to shift profits. Tax experts in the study countries said the growing importance of intangible property such as trademarks and patents is making international transactions more susceptible to transfer pricing abuse. In response, the study countries have all increased their scrutiny of transfer prices, including increased demands for documentation and more audits, resulting in increased compliance burden for taxpayers.

In a nutshell, the government could very well come after the royalties I make from the music that I recorded in the mid-1980s when I was an international pop star.

My Dutch Single, "Ha Meg Dutchy Dutch" went to #3It would be a shame if they tried to tax the royalty checks that I've been getting--I think the last one totalled exactly $12.65. Thankfully, my French, German and Czech Republic royalties are still being paid to me. I haven't heard anything from Denmark, Sweden or Italy in years; I'm assuming there are small amounts being held in those countries. I once got a $900 check from Norway, but it was so heavily taxed, I think I had to send them a money order for $8 just to get a tax form back that allowed me to write off certain expenses. What a mess! Look, this is no lie--I went through the International pop star world like shit through a goose, and the only reason why I didn't stay in it was because it was boring. It was as boring as having sex with toast. Okay, also, I have never liked dancing in front of people. Who does? I'm not a piece of meat.

As to the GAO report, I had to laugh when they mentioned the Netherlands because I was signed to a Dutch record company and there's no way to get your money out of a Dutchman when you're in the music business. You might as well try to get a Democrat to cut taxes and make people take personal responsibility for their actions.

Never mind that I made them a mint--never mind that my appearance at Pinkpop, my private nightclub shows, and my concerts in music halls all over the country were sold out affairs. Never mind that I mastered the Dutch language and taught myself to sing as if I were a hipster from Utrecht--they still cheated me out of about $800,000, American. Do you know how many pieces of Dutch fan mail my new assistant, Mr. Peej, has to destroy each month? In June of this year, he had to shred 78 letters, burn 12 packages, and take a pair of women's underwear to the County public waste incinerator, and when he was done, he had to throw the tongs and the gloves and the protective hood that he used into the incinerator and then we had to have him deloused--it was costly, but necessary. Good thing he knows how to cowboy up and take one for the home team.

I must confess--what is "passive" income? Is it "passive" if I'm not actively trying to wring what is mine out of some unscrupulous hack? Is it "passive" if I was smart enough to have done all of the work years ago in order to ensure that someone would have to keep paying me for something that I did? Why do I have to suffer for being a talented and creative person? Those songs took a few hours to get right--hours during which I could have been doing something.