An American Lion

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The Frisky Mole Boy of Groton

Norman Rogers recounts the summer he spent hiding from the stern love of his father and living as the world-famous “frisky mole boy” in the Groton, Connecticut sewer system. The Frisky Mole Boy of Groton seduced the women of the town and solved crimes, all while subsisting on a steady diet of depravity and confusion.

Rampage of the Innocents is my unfinished but brilliant Historical Romance Novel (now, with more sex and violence for my teenaged readers)

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    An American Lion

    Entries in Christianity (25)

    Saturday
    Aug142010

    This Man Stands for Nothing

    Always the goat, never the comeback kid

    Here comes the walkback:

    President Barack Obama told CNN Saturday that in defending the right of Muslims to build a community center and mosque near ground zero in a speech Friday night, he was "not commenting on the wisdom" of the project but trying to uphold the broader principle that the government should treat "everyone equal, regardless" of religion.

    "In this country, we treat everybody equally and in accordance with the law, regardless of race, regardless of religion," Obama said after giving a speech on the Gulf Coast oil disaster in Panama City, Florida.

    While speaking at a White House dinner celebrating the Islamic holy month of Ramadan, Obama threw his support behind a controversial proposal to build an Islamic center and mosque near New York's ground zero, saying Friday that "Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country."

    The president's remarks drew praise from New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who announced his support for the Islamic center last week. Bloomberg compared Obama's speech to a letter former President George Washington wrote in support of a Jewish congregation in Newport, Rhode Island. Still, critics of the proposed Islamic center -- including Rep. Peter King (R-New York) -- quickly denounced Obama's remarks.

    "President Obama is wrong," King said in a statement. "It is insensitive and uncaring for the Muslim community to build a mosque in the shadow of Ground Zero. Unfortunately, the President caved into political correctness."

    Flip flop, flip flop. No, I didn't inhale. Read my lips, no new taxes. Blah, blah, blah.

    I wish I could make myself clear on this issue--if you refuse to allow "them" to build a mosque near the site of ground zero, liberals will take that to mean that any church can thus be zoned or legislated out of existence. Think of a thousand Baptist churches turned into tot lots and Whole Foods stores. Think of Saddleback Church forced to pay taxes on Southern California's taxation schedule for commercial property. Think of the Catholic Church where you met Rita Rottencrotch and received your first rap on the knuckles. Think of the Methodist church of your grandmotherly dreams. Think of those crazy Lutherans and their botulism-smeared pot luck. Imagine them all subservient to Wiccans and Scientologists, armed with legal papers and bulldozers.

    This is really very simple--in America, we have freedom of religion. You can't stop someone putting up a mosque; you can walk around outside of it banging pots and pans and voice your displeasure. You can dress up like Richard the Lionheart and pretend you're there to teach the Saracens their lesson in religious discourse but you can't bring your broadsword from Medieval Times, the restaurant. The cops will take it away from you. I suggest bringing the shield, wearing comfortable underwear with a lot of baby powder, and bringing an umbrella. An umbrella is a gentleman's substitute for a good sword in any discussion.

    In other words, yes. You can be upset about it. I get that. But your American history is pretty clear on this front.

    You'd think that the President would be savvy enough to take a stand on something and not collapse into hysterics because Congressman Peter King disagreed with him. Frankly, I like Representative King, but I did not know he could issue a reasonable statement of disagreement on a public matter and cause the President of the United States to wilt like a hothouse flower.

    Say "boo" and, somewhere, a liberal will cringe with fear and shit themselves, apparently.

    Sunday
    Aug082010

    Just Read Your American History

    Benjamin Franklin was not the third President of the United StatesI have not touched upon the issue of mosques at Ground Zero or mosques in general because I find it to be a stupid issue. An issue so stupid as to not be believed.

    You can put a mosque anywhere you want. This is America. A mosque is a kind of church. I'm sure it has good purposes, evil purposes--even the purpose of hiding snipers and bombs and whatever else. The Germans made good use of churches in Europe. Every war film I've ever seen has a German falling out of a church steeple with his sniper rifle tumbling from his cold, dead hands.

    Read your American history:

    In 1739 arrived among us from Ireland the Reverend Mr. Whitefield, who had made himself remarkable there as an itinerant preacher. He was at first permitted to preach in some of our churches; but the clergy, taking a dislike to him, soon refus'd him their pulpits, and he was oblig'd to preach in the fields. The multitudes of all sects and denominations that attended his sermons were enormous, and it was matter of speculation to me, who was one of the number, to observe the extraordinary influence of his oratory on his hearers, and bow much they admir'd and respected him, notwithstanding his common abuse of them, by assuring them that they were naturally half beasts and half devils.

    It was wonderful to see the change soon made in the manners of our inhabitants. From being thoughtless or indifferent about religion, it seem'd as if all the world were growing religious, so that one could not walk thro' the town in an evening without hearing psalms sung in different families of every street.

    And it being found inconvenient to assemble in the open air, subject to its inclemencies, the building of a house to meet in was no sooner propos'd, and persons appointed to receive contributions, but sufficient sums were soon receiv'd to procure the ground and erect the building, which was one hundred feet long and seventy broad, about the size of Westminster Hall; and the work was carried on with such spirit as to be finished in a much shorter time than could have been expected.

    Both house and ground were vested in trustees, expressly for the use of any preacher of any religious persuasion who might desire to say something to the people at Philadelphia; the design in building not being to accommodate any particular sect, but the inhabitants in general; so that even if the Mufti of Constantinople were to send a missionary to preach Mohammedanism to us, he would find a pulpit at his service.

    The nation that was thus founded? It was founded so that people of all religions could come here and be free to believe whatever they wish to believe. Is it that difficult to understand? We are not at war with Islam; we are at war with that .001% of people using Islam as the "justification" for their extreme politically-oriented violence. Telling people where they can put a church is something liberals would do, if you want to put it into perspective. All religion and all churches are evil to liberals. If we allow this ban or restriction to be placed on mosques, it will lead to the zoning out of Methodist churches and whatnot. Conservatives don't give a damn where you put your church.

    Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

    Friday
    Jul302010

    It Is Always God's Fault When You Can't Hang With Religion

    Count Chocula kicks some serious ass, sirThe headlines are breathlessly precious and full of portent: Anne Rice has left Christianity:

    Legendary author Anne Rice has announced that she’s quitting Christianity.

    The “Interview with a Vampire” author, who wrote a book about her spirituality titled "Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession" in 2008, said Wednesday that she refuses to be “anti-gay,” “anti-feminist," “anti-science” and “anti-Democrat.”

    Rice wrote, “For those who care, and I understand if you don't: Today I quit being a Christian ... It's simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.”

    Rice then added another post explaining her decision on Thursday:

    “My faith in Christ is central to my life. My conversion from a pessimistic atheist lost in a world I didn't understand, to an optimistic believer in a universe created and sustained by a loving God is crucial to me," Rice wrote. "But following Christ does not mean following His followers. Christ is infinitely more important than Christianity and always will be, no matter what Christianity is, has been or might become.”

    Marketing ploy or the sad realization of a person that God has thwarted their ambitions? Well, God and I have always gotten along swell. I think she's doing a great job.

    There's a little bait and switch here, however. She's turning her back on the faith but she still puts Jesus up on a pedestal. That's bad news for her legion of vampire fans (Count Chocula is the only vampire that ever made sense to me).  Did it occur to her that there could be a Christian faith without Jesus? Or that there could be a Jesus and no Christianity but a sort of "feel-good" religion that eschewed war? Not the Quakers. No, that would make too much sense for someone who is against violence to simply become a Quaker. They don't sell too many books, I guess.

    If the marketing people tell her she should hook up with Scientology or the Wiccans, let's hope this all gets sorted out before the paperback edition comes out.

    What if Jesus was a vampire? One who liked to wear ascots and drive a Jaguar?

    Yeah.

    Got you there.

    Peace out, homeys.

    Tuesday
    Jul202010

    Let's Try to Avoid Taking the Bait This Time

    Should we start a third war and fight our enemies on the ground in Yemen? Why not?

    A U.S.-born, al Qaeda-linked cleric warned the American people that President Barack Obama will mire U.S. forces in Yemen just as Afghanistan, in a message appearing Monday on militant websites. 

    The 13-minute audio message, in English, comes just days after the U.S. Treasury department put Anwar al-Awlaki on its list of Specially Designated Global Terrorists. 

    "If George W. Bush is remembered as being the president who got America stuck in Afghanistan and Iraq, it's looking like Obama wants to be remembered as the president who got America stuck in Yemen," he said. 

    Let's hope that someone is smart enough to avoid taking the bait when it comes to starting a war in Yemen. If past performance is any guide, we should expect the hard sell on invading Yemen to begin once the 2010 elections are over.

    I refuse to take a back seat to anyone when it comes to patriotism, but something about our overall "strategy" of dealing with al-Awlaki and his ilk strikes me as counterproductive. His American citizen status provokes outrage when the government is suspected of issuing a "shoot to kill" order against him. And yet, he's openly attacking the United States from behind the veil of being a "cleric" and from the vantage point of religious enlightenment. Certain acts warrant a reply in kind, but that doesn't necessarily mean a hellfire missile from the underside of a circling drone. Somewhere in all of this is a comprehensive strategy that marginalizes fundamentalism and protects America. I don't think we are anywhere close to finding that path. Is anyone looking for it? Or would that take too much effort?

    I don't have much time for a cleric, or a priest, or a rabbi, or any religious leader that preaches war.

    Saturday
    Jun262010

    The Grasshopper Plague Comes For Food, Not Vengeance

    When God comes for me, I know she's going to be in a foul mood.

    I say that with all due respect; God has it in for me because I've had such a charmed life. I keep surviving things that should kill me. I keep making money. I keep having opportunities to have sex with beautiful women. I keep finding my keys. I keep on keeping on, in other words, and my luck will run out. God will come for me. I will be forced to run down the road, screaming and waving my arms in my night shirt, probably looking a little something like Ebenezer Scrooge or, if I'm lucky, a little like Kelsey Grammer (doesn't he look wonderful these days? A hell of a lot better than Ted Danson, am I right?).

    I always try to explain to people that God has to be a woman, and she has to look like Angelina Jolie. Something desperately evil but saucy, something scarred and wondrous. Something with big fake boobs and a stunned husband stumbling alongside. God's husband is a layabout. Probably the fellow who came up with the idea for the butt pack and the Segway. Since women love me, and since I've had a charmed life, then God has to be a woman. It's that simple.

    In the olden days, locusts would descend upon the sinners and the faithful alike and people would call it a harbinger of doom or the wrath of a vengeful God. Really, it's just a case of a lot of insects being hatched in proximity to a large supply of food. The swarm cannot think. The swarm has no vengeance in its way of doing things. They are just bugs, and they're hungry. If you live on land covered in things they want to eat, then it sucks to be you.

    It doesn't suck to be me. It will when God comes after me, that crazy bitch.

    Wednesday
    Jun232010

    Yes, You Can Always Talk People into Changing Their Religion

    Screenshot, including non-clickable Ad, Powerline, 6 23 2010I thought that the screenshot, captured above, really found a unique way to say it all. On the one hand, you have someone wringing their hands about proselytizing, and on the other hand, you have commerce in action, baby. Read your little story about being terrified of religion and all that--and then go hook yourself up with a scantily clad woman of Arabic lineage who can soothe your urges and stroke your mighty outrage. I love advertising, and this was sheer brilliance in one of the most happy of collisions of fear and lust.

    Here, you have John at Powerline talking about how you can't go pester people in Michigan because you want them to stop being Muslims and start being Christians. I agree that it's a stupid law. It's legislating against stupidity, and that never works. But, the problem here is this notion that Christianity is so wonderful and loving and enlightened that all you have to do is give someone the 411 about it and they'll switch their lifelong devotion to the religion of their upbringing or choice to Christianity. That worked with the peasants and it worked with the little people who lived under the shadow of the Sun God, but can it work in Michigan?

    I don't know. You should be free to go try, I guess. Don't be surprised when the shaky hold some fundamentalists have on their religion turns into a full-on monkey pile when they being to howl about your heresy.

    Saturday
    Jun122010

    Prepare to Submit to Our New Islamic Masters

    Well, I don't know what to make of this:

    FP [front page]: How is Sharia a threat to us and our way of life?

    [Amdrew C.] McCarthy: Sharia, in many salient particulars, is antithetical to Western culture and American constitutional republicanism. Sharia rejects our foundational premise that people have a right to make law for themselves, irrespective of any religious code (and sharia is not just a religious code but a full-scale socio-economic and political system that has spiritual elements). Sharia rejects freedom of conscience (apostasy from Islam is a capital offense). It denies equal protection before the law to women and non-Muslims. It denies private property (it claims to protect private property but it really doesn’t – all property is deemed to belong to Allah and its human “owner” is regarded merely as a custodian who is obliged to use it for the good of the umma). It abhors capitalism. It endorses violence as a means to settle political disputes. In short, it cannot tolerate individual liberty, which is the building block of our society.

    FP: Sounds like something the Left would embrace. That’s why you argue that Islamists work together with the Left to sabotage America, right?

    McCarthy: Correct, that is a huge part of it.

    I should be clear about what I mean by “the Left.” I would have thought this obvious – a subtitle is always something of an overgeneralization – but I am not talking about all liberals or all progressive people any more than I am talking about all Muslims. There are hundreds of millions of Muslims who do not subscribe to Islamist ideology (the problem, of course, is that there are hundreds of millions who do, and they appear to have the better case in terms of fidelity to Islamic doctrine). And not all of what might generally be called “the Left” is part of what I am homing in on: the hard Left – in America, the Obama Left or the Alinskyite Left – pushing to change our society radically. I think they are a minority, but they are a dynamic, effective minority – just as Islamist ideology (which I suspect is not a minority if you take the tactic of terrorism off the table) is the dynamic and assertive movement among the world’s Muslims.

    Nor am I saying, as someone asked in one of my first interviews, that Barack Obama wants to impose sharia. This is an alliance, not a merger. Islamists and Leftists have significant points of departure – mostly on civil rights. If it were just the two of them, they would fight to the death. Indeed, that historically is what has happened: the two sides join in marriages of convenience that always end badly once they have achieved the goal that pushed them together in the first place. After taking help from the communists to topple the Shah, Khomeini repressed them. After Nasser’s socialists aligned with the Muslim Brotherhood to overrun the British-backed Egyptian monarchy (an entente in which Nasser personally solicited a skeptical Sayyid Qutb), Nasser declined to install sharia, the Brotherhood tried to kill him, and Nasser responded by brutally suppressing the Brotherhood – such that Qutb was ultimately executed and the Brotherhood was driven into the arms of the Saudis (the unintended deadly consequence we are still living with today).

    I’ve been surprised, Jamie, that when I’m asked about this aspect of the book, people imply that I am concocting a theory. I would have thought that not only the historical instances of Islamist/Leftist collaboration but the innumerable examples all around us (e.g., the radical Center for Constitutional Rights jumping in to become al Qaeda’s lawyer after 9/11; the collaboration between the ACLU and CAIR against the post-9/11 national-security measures; the Muslim Public Affairs Council taking a lead role in the push for Obamacare; the Muslim Brotherhood’s very easily accessible economic and social program – you can glean it from their website, Ikhwan.net – which is plainly socialist; etc.) would have made the fact of the alliance undeniable. Yet I am constantly asked, “Doesn’t the Left have as much or more to lose than anyone if Islamists come to power?” Sure, as I’ve said, they’d have a lot to lose if there were a situation where all that was left were themselves and the Islamists. But we’re not in that situation. We are in the situation where, historically, they are most apt to confederate: namely, where they have a common obstacle that makes their differences seem less important. To me, the interesting question is why the two sides collaborate, not whether they collaborate. There’s no question that they’re collaborating.

    You mean to say that our own President is selling us down the river and is forging an alliance with the enemy?

    Then why is he killing so many of them? It would seem to me that if all of this were true, the President would have already pulled American troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq.

    And the Muslim Public Affairs Council gave us Obamacare? I thought the radical Democrat Congress was to blame for that.

    Anyway, I can't help but point out the overall "half-assedness" of an Islamic plot to take over the world. These movements are mostly the imagination of someone sitting in a boiling hot room, pounding away at a broken keyboard. If a billion people of the Muslim faith want to try to take over the world, have at it. There may be sympathies for this kind of thinking, but the same number of people believe in UFOs, ghosts, and the infallibility of the Pope. Nobody thinks about jihad when the World Cup is on.

    Wednesday
    May122010

    Religion and Music go Hand in Hand

    This has always been a significant issue for Christian denominations as well:

    It is meant to be a beautiful, melodic and spiritual start to the day.

    But the morning calls to prayer by some of Istanbul's muezzins and imams have had locals plugging their ears rather than reaching for their prayer books.

    The problem is such that following a flood of complaints by locals, special classes for the tuneless culprits have been set up.

    Imam Mehmet Tas, one of the school's first pupils, said he was already feeling the benefits.

    "I have so much more self-confidence now in my abilities to do all five calls to prayer in their correct tempos," he said.

    Nothing drives away the faithful like someone singing out of tune. If your religious leader is incapable of singing the sweet music that your faith is built upon, you'll run screaming to the people who use rock music or polkas to draw in the faithful. In my faith, the Episcopal faith, singing in church is really important. Now, just because I don't have examples of this doesn't mean I don't go to church. The fact that I don't go to church means...oh, you know the drill.

    Tuesday
    May112010

    Not the Way to Get Your Point Across

    Oh, my:

    A Swedish artist who angered Muslims by depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a dog was assaulted Tuesday as furious protesters interrupted his university lecture about the limits of artistic freedom.

    Lars Vilks told The Associated Press a man leaped from the front row and head-butted him as he was delivering his speech, breaking Vilks' glasses but leaving him uninjured. Two people were arrested but it wasn't immediately clear whether the attacker was among them.

    A video clip of the incident by a Swedish newspaper showed police using pepper spray and batons to hold off an angry crowd shouting "God is great" in Arabic after Vilks was escorted out of the lecture hall.

    Vilks has faced numerous threats over his controversial drawing of Muhammad with a dog's body, but Tuesday's incident was the first time he has been physically assaulted.

    Earlier this year U.S. investigators said Vilks was the target of an alleged murder plot involving Colleen LaRose, an American woman who dubbed herself "Jihad Jane," and who now faces life in prison. She has pleaded not guilty.

    If you have no ideas, except a fundamentalist belief that what you cling to justifies acts of violence, then what more is there to say? The man drew something offensive, and this is what people do in response. What a world.

    And it doesn't help matters when people are cowed by this idea that you cannot depict Muhammad in any way, shape or form. Of course you can mock and deride Muhammad; you can mock and deride any religious figure, whether it is Christ, Rabbi Shmuley, Buddha, L. Ron Hubbard, or the Pope. It doesn't matter. It's a world of ideas, after all, and fundamentalism should be the thing we are rooting out and eliminating, no matter what form it takes or religion it represents.

    Monday
    May032010

    Whatever Happened to the Reformation?

    What Would Cardinal Wolsey Do?When you read something like this, you have to wonder if it will cause the hotheaded youths of Europe to form home regiments and flock to the standards:

    Three Church of England bishops traveled to Rome last week for talks with Vatican officials about joining the Catholic Church, according to two of the bishops involved.

    bishops told The Associated Press they went to the Vatican to find out more about Pope Benedict XVI's decision to invite disaffected Anglicans to join the Catholic Church - a sensitive issue which has roiled relations between the two denominations and threatens to overshadow the pontiff's visit to London later this year.

    The Vatican's spokesman said he had no information about the meeting.

    Rev. Keith Newton, the bishop of Richborough, said the trip consisted of "nothing more than exploratory talks" and denied a report in The Sunday Telegraph that he and his colleagues had secretly promised the Vatican they were ready to defect to Rome.

    "No decisions have been made," he said.

    If you don't like female priests or homosexual clergy, the Catholic church wants you! But you have to forget we had a reformation, okay? Given how little anyone pays attention to such things, how hard could it be for the Catholic Church to win over a few Anglican clergymen?

    If you can get past all of the sex, nudity, and violence, and somehow not fall asleep when Natalie Dormer is not on the screen, you can learn a lot about the Reformation by watching The Tudors.