An American Lion

My, my, my:

The Transportation Department is ordering airlines to let passengers stuck in stranded airplanes to deplane after three hours.

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood on Monday announced the three-hour limit and other new passenger protections long sought by consumer advocates. From January to June this year, 613 planes were delayed on tarmacs for more than three hours, their passengers kept on board.

Under the new rule, airlines must provide food and water for passengers within two hours of a plane being delayed on a tarmac and maintain operable lavatories. They must also provide medical attention when necessary.

This happened because I rose up and posted on my blog something that shamed this government into doing the right thing (my wild guess—I’m just being an idiot, okay?).

When I heard that over 140 passengers on an Air Jamaica flight were trapped on an aircraft at Baltimore Washington International Airport for 8 hours without any food or water, I immediately ordered Peej, my assistant, to begin researching the Airline Passenger Bill of Rights legislation that has been stuck in the Congress, thanks to the intransigence of lawmakers. I Tweeted Senator Barbara Boxer, the sponsor of the legislation. I posted on her re-election blog, but they REFUSED to approve my comment because I pointed out something that was factually correct, politely written, but embarrassing to the Senator.

Then, I posted it on Posterous. Within mere hours of my putting this story on Posterous, the entire government capitulated and ran howling and teary-eyed away from me in fear.

This is my power as a blogger (in reality, I just put up pictures of Eastern European porn stars and nobody reads me) and it signals a change for the direction of my blog (it doesn’t, but that’s cool to write) and so, from now on, I shall watch these fools and write about their incompetence (nah, who cares? Washington D.C. is Yokelburg, and only ugly people care about Washington D.C.).