An American Lion

James O’Keefe, the “ACORN pimp,” released a statement Friday claiming he was not interfering with Sen. Mary Landrieu’s (D-La.) phones.

O’Keefe says that he simply wanted to embarrass Landrieu by investigating whether or not she was deliberately ignoring calls from constituents.

“In investigating this matter, we decided to visit Sen. Landrieu’s district office — the people’s office — to ask the staff if their phones were working,” he wrote on BigGovernment.com.

Of course, this doesn’t explain why O’Keefe’s partners pretended to be employees of a telephone company, or why another was found with a listening device in a van parked outside the office.

O’Keefe also claims the government has confirmed that he was not trying to wiretap Landrieu’s phones, though it’s unclear what statement or confirmation he is referring to.

He did, however, show some remorse.

“On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation, particularly given the sensitivities that people understandably have about security in a federal building,” he wrote.

It’s perfectly fine and the poor young man is being railroaded over nothing, you see, because Republicans are genetically incapable of breaking the law.

I’m glad that I was here to explain that to you. You see, it was all about nothing. No harm, no foul. Everyone stop paying attention. It’s over and done with. You can go home now. Bye bye.

[Rolling eyes…]

Having been a Republican all of my life, I can assure you—if you can’t win by beating the other guy with your ideas (and don’t we all miss William F. Buckley for exactly that reason) then go home. The Republican Party used to respect law and order. Then came a little thing called Watergate. Now where are we today?

You’re short one member because I am an Independent now, sir.