An American Lion

A Wienermobile Crashes into a Private ResidenceI suppose I will need to address the fact that one of the "Wienermobiles" that my family used to manufacture crashed into a home in Wisconsin recently.

It happened like this:

The owner of a southern Wisconsin house might not be in love with the Oscar Mayer wiener right now. The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile crashed into a Mount Pleasant house around noon Friday.

Mount Pleasant Police Chief Tim Zarzecki said the 22-year-old female driver was turning the giant hot dog on wheels around in a driveway and thought she was reversing but instead went forward and crashed into the deck and garage. No one was home and no one was injured.

Oscar Mayer spokeswoman Sydney Lindner apologized for any inconvenience to the home owner. Lindner said the company will work with insurance companies to fix the damage to the house and vehicle.

The problem here is that, if this is, in fact, one of the wienermobiles that Father ordered manufactured in the early 1980s, it likely has a defective braking and hydraulic system. This is because of a decision made decades ago to manufacture riot control vehicles that had limited ability to brake and stop when charging into crowds. Father believed that a proper riot control vehicle had to have certain "flaws" in it to allow a host nation to utilize it in a less-than-ethical way when dealing with crowd control issues. Yes, that's why many Rogers Defence Industries vehicles are banned in the United States, save for the wienermobiles and a few others I'm not allowed to talk about because of what has been happening, tragically, in parades all over the nation for the better part of the last twenty years or so.

Anyway, that's pretty much all I can say. Another Wienermobile crashes, another feather in Father's cap, I guess. How sad.