An American Lion

It doesn’t get any worse than this for a publication:

Tiger Woods is being called a sext-happy philanderer by the National Enquirer, is getting hounded by the Florida Highway Patrol, and is facing the possibility that his wife could go to jail for domestic abuse. On the plus side, Woods made the cover of the upcoming issue of Golf Digest. The cover line: “10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger.” The inside of the magazine features a slightly unfortunate pullquote: “For everyone’s sake, Woods should encourage Obama to shield his game from the public.” Uh, that’s his golf game.

Full disclosure: Back in October, I compared Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize to Woods’ 1996 Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year award. While I stand by that comparison, Woods’ behavior this week—clamming up, dodging the cops, and pulling a no show at his own golf tournament—hasn’t quite been presidential. Nevertheless, Golf Digest, which depicts Woods as the president’s caddy, argues that Obama might learn from the golfer’s mastery of “the quick recovery.” Tiger is “a good role model,” David Owen explains, “because he has always been able to pull himself together after setbacks.” Woods also comes in for praise due to his agility with the press. (An illustrative quote from the cagey star: “My dad taught me that when I’m asked a question, I have control of the answer.”) And Joe Queenan argues that Obama could benefit most from a Woods-like agility with image control. “Tiger never does anything that would make him look ridiculous,” he writes.

Everything a person could say now is just piling on. Someone at the venerable Golf Digest is rubbing their face and wondering how it could have gone this wrong with their upcoming issue. No one should lose their job over such a thing—fawning articles about Tiger are a fact of life in the golf publishing world. Tiger has already taken a major hit from a fellow golfer, Jesper Parnevik, and he’s gotten a tepid column out of Michael Wilbon.

This incident reminds me of the Don Imus firestorm from a few years back. I don’t doubt that there are some demons there for Tiger Woods. I think whatever he gets, in terms of a “redefined” relationship with his wife, assuming they stick together, is going to serve as a wakeup call. He’s already received preferential treatment. At some point, this is going to unravel quite a bit of his life before his terrified eyes, and, at that point, yes, it does become piling on.