An American Lion

You know I love hotties, right? You know I love that many of them are safe for work and will pose in naughty ways, correct?

Well, I draw the line at erotic cartoon figures. That is something that, understandably, freaks me out. Not in the good way, either. In the bad way. In the way that sends me flying across the room, mad as hell and kicking things.

It could be a flashback complex that I have for Josie and the Pussycats, the original animated show that ran in the very early 1970s. I would sit around with my sons and we would watch that show and it completely and utterly freaked me out--especially when the entire series seemed to change and the whole thing went into space or whatever. I was a new father, my own Father had already tried to kill me several times, and anything to do with freaking out freaked me out. I couldn't watch Scooby Doo or the Jetsons, either. Now, I was always a pretty frisky boy, and cartoons were at their absolute peak in the 1960s and 1970s, well after I had already grown up. The sexual revolution brought eroticism and titillation into the cartoon world, and it caused a great deal of consternation for young parents like myself.

It could be because I am weird. Well, I stand by my evident weirdness, sir. I don't care what people think and I believe that it shows. I am brave in my exposure of myself via the Internet. Few people would ever give you this much information about who they are and what they believe.

Several months ago, I freaked out when I was confronted with this ad, featuring cartoon spokesmodel "Erin," who plays a secret agent bent on getting cheap insurance rates for customers:

Erin from E-Surance, the original slutty image that freaked me out

Do you see how "perky" they are, I mean, she is? She's too perky to be real, correct? And, yes, I'm talking about the cartoon breasts that are drawn on this character--what else would I be talking about? What kind of depraved mind sat down and drew them that way? The curving upturn clearly shows the work of a mind so deranged it cannot see anything but sex in every day situations.

 See how they stand out, and no matter where you sit in front of the monitor, they seem to follow you?

Well, this is what they've done with her today:

Erin from E-Surance, slutting it up

See how she leans forward, pushing them into your field of view? You can try to look away, but you can't, because those things are pointed up and out at you.

Don't get me wrong; I am certainly no prude. I'm just freaked out when it comes to cartoon characters.