An American Lion

Nelson Rockefeller

Why not sit down with me and take the new Republican Party purity test?

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the Republican National Committee identifies ten (10) key public policy positions for the 2010 election cycle, which the Republican National Committee expects its public officials and candidates to support:

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill;

I hate to break it to you, but the Republican Party did nothing to reduce the size of our government, run less debt, lower the deficit, and responsibly cut taxes during the Bush years. It would be wrong to fully blame the President, however. The economic fallout of 9/11 caused a massive amount of wealth to vanish. Wars of choice over wars of necessity won out. Foreign policy blunders have been very costly for us. Finally, that reprehensible scallywag Tom DeLay was no Republican. He was a spendthrift weasel. The Democrats aren’t going to cut spending. Nor are the Republicans in the House or Senate really going to regain the mantle of being responsible stewards of our economy. I’m neutral on this, simply because I can read and I know my history.

(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare;

Great. Where’s the plan to do just that for small businesses in this country? Don’t have a plan? Well, someone has to do something to get the health care onus off the backs of the small businessman. Against, on principle.

(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;

I don’t have a problem with this, provided enough is done to accelerate the process of getting us off foreign oil. For.

(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check;

Unions are the big bugaboo. Fine. I’ll go with this. But who really fears labor anymore? No one joins unions anymore—they’ve been finished since the late 1990s. For.

(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;

This is electoral suicide. The burgeoning Hispanic population in this country is reliably Republican in their values and conservative in their beliefs. Amnesty for law abiding, tax-paying, hard working people is a good idea. If the Republican Party ever wants to win the Presidency in a walk ever again, a Hispanic American Republican from California could sweep the Democrats out of power, especially if she’s a woman. Against.

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;

Bah. What does propping up kleptocrats do for us? Nothing. I’m against this.

(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;

No issue there. I’m for that.

(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;

Again, this is electoral suicide. If you’re going to automatically piss off Hispanics, don’t try to turn around and pander to their conservative values by pretending to be against civil unions for gays and lesbians. This is a fundamental freedom we should embrace. Not to go all Barry Goldwater on everyone, but what goes on in the bedroom of two consenting adults is not the business of anyone in government. Civil unions should be a fact of life—a freedom that celebrates the American ideal. There’s a reason why people come to this country—they do so because they’re tired of the crap they have to put up with by closed-minded fools. Elections in this country are decided by convincing slivers of the electorate to give you a chance. You’re not fighting for fifty-one percent, ever. You’re fighting to change the minds of just two or three percent of the population, and to give them a reason to switch their vote. Why concede anything when you’re out of power? Go after the vote of everyone. Against.

(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing, denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and

The American people pretty much expect a Republican to be pro-life. I don’t see where it’s a big deal. Neutral.

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership; and be further

Guns kill people, but only because people use them illegally. Guns aren’t the problem. People are. Always have been, always will be. For.

RESOLVED, that a candidate who disagrees with three or more of the above stated public policy positions of the Republican National Committee, as identified by the voting record, public statements and/or signed questionnaire of the candidate, shall not be eligible for financial support and endorsement by the Republican National Committee; and be further

RESOLVED, that upon the approval of this resolution the Republican National Committee shall deliver a copy of this resolution to each of Republican members of Congress, all Republican candidates for Congress, as they become known, and to each Republican state and territorial party office.

I guess I’m not a Republican anymore. I’m against 2, 5, 6, and 8. I’m neutral on two. My Republican party has essentially given me only four things I can support them on.

Oh well. Notice how they didn’t bring up Marijuana, financial regulation, ending corporate lobbying (which would kill the Democrats right now), crime, or cultural values like getting smut off television? Smart list, this is. Divisive and meaningless, and a guarantee of getting beaten by the Democrats in the next two cycles.